And Here’s One I Made Earlier….

starsWho knew crafternoons could be so stressful?

I had a couple of days off work recently, and inspired by countless articles in picture-perfect Christmas magazines, I had amassed a whole pile of crafty bits just perfect for creating a home-made Christmas.

Getting into an arty festive mood, I put some Christmas carols on, brewed some cranberry herbal tea, tied my hair up in a scarf, and set to.

After an exhausting afternoon spent weeping into my glitter, here’s what I learned:

  • Invisible thread is called invisible thread for a reason.
  • Air-drying clay does not dry in 24 hours.
  • The cat likes licking air-drying clay (ew).
  • Metal star-shaped cookie cutters are painful.
  • Potato stamping isn’t half as much fun at 40 as it was at 4.
  • Paper folding is not relaxing.
  • Cutting card with a craft knife is deadly.
  • Too much herbal tea was a mistake.
  • The magazines lied.

I don’t give up that easily, so the next afternoon, I put some hard rock music on, made some mulled wine and wrapped my hair tightly with an elastic band (glue guns and hair don’t mix).

First up, the easy one. Slice some oranges, put in oven at a low heat for four hours (‘a delightful aroma will infuse your home with a wondrous Christmas spirit’).

Next, glue-gun some baubles to a distressed wooden frame, in the shape of a Christmas tree ( a simple, yet charming idea).

Finally, make your own candles (‘a bee-yoootiful gift for friends and family’).

My oranges curled up and died, sending out plumes of evil-smelling, acrid smoke, I became more distressed than my baubles and frame and after boiling up wax pellets for the candles, I realised too late that the wicks I had ordered were too short.

All I have to show for my efforts is a string of clay stars. After all the pummeling, rolling out, cutting out, three days of air-drying and chasing the cat away from them, I was determined not to be beaten.

The next day, I went to Poundland (three fold-out stars for a quid), chucked out all my magazine articles, cursed Kirstie Allsopp and Pinterest and flopped on the sofa to watch ‘Elf’ for the eighth time (with some re-heated mulled wine)….

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10 thoughts on “And Here’s One I Made Earlier….

  1. don’t give up the crafting/art thing, if it was stressful its not the craft/project for you.
    the problem with looking at all the pretties on pinterest, most of them are pretty hard to do for beginners and can really put a person off of trying again

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Oh, I know. It’s so hard though! I see these beautiful simple projects and think, oh, I can do that!!!
      I just wish they were more honest, i.e. it takes a lot of strength to roll out clay, lol.
      x

  2. Stupid crafts! I’ve been tricked by similar articles, and ended up with something even my third-grade self would scorn.

    Poorly done crafts are good for a laugh, though! (After enough time has passed.)

  3. Sally says:

    My best one yet has just been hung up for the third year running. Blue Peters Christmas star. Ed sheerin and Helen made it I think. Was another, oh I could do that and I did. Place 6 metal coat hangers on the ground with the hook bit in the centre. Then get garden wire and tie them all together. You have a pretty hexagon shape. Pull the flat bottom bit of each hanger out so up you get triangleish shape and there you have a large star. Wrap all the exposed metal in tinsel and hang a bauble inside each open bit. Ta da! Looks really good

  4. Julie says:

    And after all the toil and trouble who appreciates it eh?
    ‘Mum I want to make bird feeders like they did on Blue Peter.’
    ‘Tsk’ I thought, and said, ‘Ok, the birds will love them.’ Thinking about the dozens of squawkers that usually circle the garden dropping messages where messages shouldn’t be dropped.
    After investigating recipes on the RSPB website we set to work and produced some rather attractive and highly nutritious orange ornaments and hung them on a branch.
    A week later they are still there – entirely untouched!
    Why do we bother?
    Having said that I can disappear with my embroidery paraphernalia for days at a time, given a chance.
    It’s a matter of finding what clicks with you, and I suspect it’s your writing that does it for you.
    Arranging words in a creative way is as artistic as anything else. And there are plenty of us enjoying your efforts. x

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Aw, thank you!
      I love writing and always wanted to – MS gave me the kick I needed, lol.
      I love your bird feeder idea. I always think, oh, I should feed the poor freezing little birds. But then I remember I have a killer cat living with me and if I put some food out for them, I’d be guilty of aiding and abetting. Oops.
      Re. craft work – sounds really, really old of me, but I’ve taken up tapestry again, since MS won’t let me knit any more, and I absolutely love it!
      x

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