Don’t Mention The ‘V’ Word

happy valentine's dayDuring the first week of January (when I went to stock up on Creme Eggs), I briefly thought about boycotting my local newsagent.

On leaving the store I was brutally confronted with a huge display under the banner ‘Winter Essentials’.

Alongside the de-icer, Arctic-proof gloves and those grip things you attach to your shoes, was a stand full of Valentine’s cards, plastic red roses and cheap teddies holding sateen hearts. Pah.

So having a significant other is now a Winter Essential? Double pah.

Not long after, I had an email offering me and my significant other a ‘truly romantic experience on that most romantic day of the year’ at my local gastro-pub. A glass of cheap sparkling wine on arrival, a wilted red rose for ‘the lady’ and a three course lovingly-prepared meal to ‘tingle the palate’. And all for only £42 a head. Are they having a laugh?

The evil-singleton side of me toyed with the idea of schlepping along on that most romantic of days, sitting in the bar and watching awkward couples crammed into the restaurant. But that’s a bit mean. Isn’t it?

Maybe I should launch myself back onto the dating scene? There’s a few problems with that though:

  • MS
  • I still dress like a student and don’t wear strappy heels. And I haven’t mastered the art of a sophisticated up-do.
  • I would yawn my way though dates, and not solely because my companion is regaling me with tales of his pot-holing.
  • MS
  • I still need to lose a few stone pounds.
  • MS

My friends and family are very encouraging though. ‘It’s not about the MS, it’s about you, who you are.’ ‘You have lovely eyes.’ (what they say to fat people). And my ever-adoring son, ‘Have you sent off your application for the next series of The Undateables yet?’

Well I reckon we should scrap Valentine’s Day. Let’s have a new celebration, Singleton Day. This would involve buying an M&S meal-deal for a tenner (including a bottle of wine) and scoffing/quaffing the whole lot on our own, with ‘I Will Survive’ playing on a loop in the background. We could encourage our friends to send us boxes of chocolates to help us ease the pain. Three layers of mascara would be an essential, all the better to show our tears with.

So spare a thought for us sad, lonely, slipper-wearing, talking-to-the-cat peeps. And all donations of recycled men gratefully received…..

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10 thoughts on “Don’t Mention The ‘V’ Word

  1. Kerri says:

    recycled men? haha

  2. Julie says:

    Take mine – please!!!
    I won’t fill you in with the gory details but I would dearly love to be in your position.
    I want to be alone, I want to eat an m&s meal for one – in peace. I want to watch what I want to watch on the tv, or switch it off and play music if I feel like it. I want to sleep all night without the sound of a train passing through the bedroom rattling the windows…….. and so on.
    I know the grass is always greener – but one woman’s junk is also another woman’s gold! So you may fair better than I.
    But I might not like it when I have to put the bins out and wash up etc. How about sharing?
    You can send him back on bin day and when I have run out of clean crockery.
    I know I sound horrible, but there is something to be said for peace and quiet and freedom.
    And my Valentines Day won’t be any more romantic than yours!

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Sharing sounds like an absolutely ideal situation? That way, we get the best of ‘said bloke’?
      Why didn’t I think of this before? Bit like a timeshare but for partners?
      I’ve often thought, the older I get, the more I’d like to meet and fall in love with someone but still have them go back to their own place. Am I just getting older? And anyway, how would I incorporate all my junk with my dream man?
      I do fear though that I will be that batty old peep I used to warn my son about. The minute I start stacking newspapers, give me a nudge…

  3. :/ the MS shouldn’t stop you from dating, as long as the date isnt long hikes in the forest, sort of a good thing dating with MS, if and when the other person finds out and if they bale, its a good sign they are not worth your time and effort.

    lots of people with MS date, so please don’t let that stop you

    having said that, julie is right, peace and quiet can be great 😀 :p

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Excellent point Jennifer – it’s a good way of finding out who’s a keeper?
      I know what you mean about peace and quiet. And watching whatever I want on telly. Normally the trashy stuff, lol.

  4. Diana says:

    Funny post as always! But here’s the thing: you are denying the world of your greatness because of your MS. You have too much to offer to not be putting yourself out there. Also, FU*K Valentine’s Day. It’s just a capitalistic holiday. Doesn’t really mean a thing.

    Hope you’re still coming to NYC. 🙂 xox

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Aw, thank you! I will be happily lurking at home on that capitalistic holiday!
      Am most certainly still coming to New York, if they let me through customs, lol. Can’t wait!

  5. Sue Smith says:

    Try listening to The Archers on Radio 4. The Bull (the local pub) are running a couples night downstairs and a singles night upstairs. It’s a great fun storyline, the landlord Kenton is running the downstairs and his wife Jolene is running is running the upstairs they are really competitive. I thought of your post when I heard it and I thought I would let you know. X

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