Groundhog Day

groundhog dayI was away at the weekend with The Teenager and a friend, who came with me only on the condition that he could watch Formula 1 (yawn).

To pass the ho-hum time away, I read the newspapers and amused myself by reading bits out to him as he tried to concentrate on men in leather onesies going round and round and round in little cars.

– ‘I didn’t know Richard Pryor had MS, did you?’

– ‘Nope. Shhh. They’re on the 27th lap.

– ‘Bored.’

– ‘Shhh. Anyway, you’ve got MS, what’s the big deal?’

Of course. I completely forgot I had MS. Weird. I’d like to say it’s because I’m in rude health, but it’s probably more likely that all my symptoms have now been fully assimilated into my life and it’s just…normal?

This happens most days and it’s like a short, sharp shock every single time I remember. A bit like mornings when The Teenager was a newborn and it’d dawn on me that I was A Mother. I’d lie there, waiting for him to start yelling (never took long) and wonder why on earth the maternity unit actually let me leave the hospital with him. When they told me I was free to leave, I looked at the baby then back at them, asking, ‘seriously? He’s so….um, so, kind of small?’ ‘Yes love, babies generally are. Now, be a dear and shut the door behind you.’

Will this groundhog day ever end? Of course I know I have MS. My legs, arms and brain tell me. Or is this actually a good thing? Have I come to a point of quiet acceptance? I mean, I still chuckle when I realise I’m a mother to a teenager. Me? Really? I feel like I was one myself only a few years ago.

Or as The Teenager says, ‘mum, if you say ‘totes’ one more time and keep reading Heat magazine, I’ll get you a subscription to Women’s Weekly for your Christmas.’

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18 thoughts on “Groundhog Day

  1. Tricia says:

    Well I am 50 week Sunday, my youngest son starts high school week today, and my eldest son starts UNI 23rd September, so HELP, last time I looked I was going to discos in the 80’s LOL..

  2. I do think that once a person truly accepts that they have MS, it does become normal and you stop thinking about it unless there is a doc appointment to go to, or the heat starts bugging you, (thank the gods who ever invented fans), or a new symptom shows up. having MS just means adapting to what life throws at you. I think after awhile you dont even think, crap I have MS I can’t do something. You just naturally adapt to do it (and then sometimes pay for it after, but that doesn’t always happen).

    people still say totes?? 😉

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Very true. It’s odd. I think I’m definitely changing the way I think about MS. So many new ways of being are now normal. Especially when I think back to a couple of years ago!
      And, yes, sadly I still say totes. And wicked, fab, cool and awesome. I am truly a hopeless case…

  3. Diana says:

    i know exactly what you mean. about the ms, not being a mother to a teenager. i’ve only been diagnosed since 2012 but i’m already so bored with the MS and am slowly seeping into the quiet acceptance. or at least i want to be! either way, it’s all seems like a dream to me.

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Exactly! It’s like a bizarre dream, but somehow normal at the same time. A bit like being caught between two worlds. Hmm.
      By the way, your blog is excellent!

  4. I’ll have you know, YOU started me saying totes. And, yeah, I don’t really think about the MS so much. Until I’m outside and it’s hot. Then I think about it plenty. It’s totes annoying.

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Hiya Cranky!
      I know, I hold my hand up. I like to think I say it ironically, but I’m not so sure. Fab word though and really annoys The Teenager, especially when I say it in front of his rugby mates.
      Know what you mean about MS at the forefront when it’s hot. I’ve had a bad couple of days. Cramp, trembling legs and a rather fetching bright red face. Meh. (think I gave you that word too, soz…)

      • Yes! You did. And…oh, the one the Teenager uses. I like to be hip to what the kids are saying. Word! Not helpful if I can’t remember what it is, though. Meh 🙂

        • stumbling in flats says:

          I started saying ‘mint’ until The Teenager gave me evil death stares and rolled his eyes. Seems I am now too uncool. Uncool?? WHO even says that anymore???

  5. Julie says:

    I keep forgetting I have ms. Since the temperature outside cooled my brain fog has lifted and my body feels better too. I was beginning to wander whether they had it wrong and I don’t have ms after all. Waking up with numb hands put paid to that idea last week though. Luckily it went to pins and needles, then weakness in a matter of minutes so didn’t last long.
    So I forgot about it again – till I sat on the edge of a chair earlier and lost my balance. The children (12 and 16) were in hysterics as I spun around on my newly washed floor trying to get myself up. (Much cheaper than taking them out.) The 16 year old did slide me along to the sofa so I could heave myself up onto it though bless him!
    In between mishaps I do feel a bit of a fraud, sometimes it’s hard to get my head round the fact that there is actually something horribly wrong. I suspect I may look back on these times wistfully one day though, so I’ll enjoy the care free moments while I still can.
    Wicked/fab/cool – I am not even allowed to put lol on facebook! Apparently it’s sooooooo lame!
    Well the kids aren’t on here so – LOL – ner ner ner ner!! 🙂

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Hi Julie,
      You sound an awful lot like me! I can go days with pretty much nothing happening (apart from the constant buzzing in my feet which I’m used to now) then blam, I’ll trip over, or get foot drop, or get crampy leg muscles, etc. I fell over a table at home the other day, right in front of The Teenager. Luckily we could laugh about it, but it shocked me.
      I really must get out my lol habit. I’m actually starting to say it out loud now. I also say ‘wow’ a lot, worryingly. Hmm. Maybe I’d better make up my own slang??

  6. Honeysuckle says:

    Richard Pryor “Yes, I have MS. More Shit.”


  7. Jenny Best says:

    I know what you mean about ‘forgetting’ we have MS! I had a lovely lunch with a new friend recently. She is about my age and also has MS. We are at about the same stage with out MS. It was only at the end of the lunch as we both struggled to get up that I remembered she has MS too. It made me understand why people seem to forget it about me. We look well and we converse and laugh easily but deep down our MS is still there.
    Great writing from you as always.
    Jenny x

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Hi Jenny,
      That’s it exactly! Most of my MS friends are the same. We’re friends who just happen to have MS in common and mostly we just forget about it. Not a bad thing!
      Thank you for the lovely comment!

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