It’s Not Right, Until It’s Alright

beginIf there’s one thing I’ve discovered from combing through my blog ready for publication, it’s that when you have a diagnosis of MS, you’ve got to cut yourself some slack.

If you’re unlucky enough to spend time in that awful waiting room, otherwise known as ‘Limboland’ (as I did) , you will understand this even more.

MS makes everything wrong – it messes up your life; your plans, your dreams, your work, your family. Yourself.

It’s just not right. It’s not fair.

I cried this out, over and over, when MS first appeared in my life, and for a long time after. How (insert swear word(s))?!?! How unjust. How dare MS intrude into my life in this way?

As people with lives, jobs, family, we desperately want to make everything … right again. Back on track.

And that is what coming to terms with MS is all about.

It’s not right. MS is indiscriminate. Thrown into chaos, we have to begin to make sense of our lives, from top to bottom.

There’s no easy way to do this. In my case, I had to grieve; everything I would never achieve, everything I was now not eligible for (medical insurance, life insurance, etc). My future with The Teenager. Not going to the beach on a beautiful day thanks to heat intolerance. Losing my job purely based on my diagnosis.

But grieving is ‘good’. Ok, it’s awful, but it also throws up our regrets. What could you miss? What can you do now? It can’t all be bad?

I’m not saying MS is good. It’s far, far from it. But if we have to embrace our unwelcome intruder, surely we should make it work for us?

With MS, our lives go wrong. Very, very wrong. But it won’t be right until it’s alright – we have to come to terms with it at some point. Why not sooner rather than later?

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