Tag Archives: boring

Maybe I’m Not So Boring After All…

boringAfter my previous maudlin blog post, I had a lovely email from a friend.

In short, she told me I wasn’t at all boring, and in fact quite interesting, and I really should write a post about some not-so-boring stuff I have done, just to even things out.

So here goes:

  • On a visit to Scotland, I went to the travel agent to book ferry tickets to Skye. Instead, I booked flights to The Gambia and was on the beach 24 hours later.
  • I moved from Austria to New York on a whim. I had a ball.
  • I can burp the entire alphabet. Ewww.
  • I met Al Pacino once. He was a bit grumpy.
  • I used to speak fluent Norwegian and German.

It’s early, so I can’t think of any more things right now, but it’s given me food for thought. I am definitely my own worst critic and don’t give myself the easiest time.

To be fair,  the combination of MS and bullying/sacking from work hasn’t helped. But, as I came to realise a while back, it’s not only about what happens to you, it’s about how you react to it. I also have a lot to be grateful for – a healthy son, a wonderful family, great friends.

If I had a friend who constantly belittled and criticised me and sneered at every effort I made to improve my life, I’d get rid of them. So why do I do this to myself? If you can’t be friends with yourself, how can you expect other people to take you seriously?

On a more positive note, all this naval-gazing over the last couple of years has been a tremendous opportunity to totally re-evaluate my life, shake it down from top to bottom. It’s a unique chance to start afresh, so why squander the chance? We have to make MS work for us if we are to live in peace with it.

So. I am going to stop whingeing, stop analysing every single thing to death and lift my head above the parapet. It’s time to have more fun. And with that in mind, I’m off to get ready for work. My job has been the best therapy ever. Working with a bunch of men who refuse to let me take myself seriously has been a brilliant tonic.

No more pity-parties…

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This Is A Boring Post

‘I’m bored. Bored, bored, bored.’ (stamps foot)

Think this is The Teenager expecting me to entertain him? Nope. It’s me talking to a friend.

Something all the leaflets about all the symptoms of MS don’t cover is the sheer, mind-numbing boredom that comes with it.

MS itself is never boring – there’s the unexpected delight of waking up in the morning wondering just what symptom it will chuck at you today, and MS has a whole bag of them. But with these symptoms comes the crushing boredom.

Top of the list is the boredom that comes with having to sleep. A lot. It’s a huge time-waster, it’s not fun or cushy and there is nothing more boring than heading for the sofa – again – when there are so many other more exciting things to do. I’m bored of being in the house so much while life continues elsewhere. I’m bored of boring my friends with the endless symptoms:

‘How you doing?’

‘Oh, you know. I dropped a mug this morning. I tripped over the cat. I went to sleep. I had a bit of a wobble. How’s you?’

‘Well, after I partied all night, I had a fabulous day at work before whipping up a dinner party for eight. The usual.’

Then there’s the boredom that comes with all the planning. MS is like a stroppy, badly-behaved toddler you have to lug around – for life. Before you go anywhere, you plan where the loos are, you work out if there’s a cafe nearby to stop for a break, you pack a bag of stuff, you can’t stay out too late.

When your world shrinks and spontaneity is something you have to seriously think about, there’s not an awful lot of options left. Friends tire of always being bailed out on. I’m out of synch with them, going through an accelerated old age in my 30’s. The highlight of my day is getting a pen and marking an asterisk next to interesting programmes in the Radio Times. Years ago when I saw someone do this, I was scornful. How tragic, such an empty life. I mean, who does that? Um, well, me now.

So how can I combat this boredom? What can I do from the comfort and safety of my couch? Wordsearch puzzles? Solitaire? Spray-paint the cat purple? Any suggestions gratefully received.

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My Brain Hurts

The Teenager is back after eight days away and I have had a terrible headache all weekend. Hey, I’m not saying the two are connected though (honest).  The house is filled with noise, dirty laundry and mysteriously migrating food and it feels like home again.

I’ve had a searing band of pain round my head and my eyes hurt – it feels like my brain is in a blender. I don’t normally have headaches but I’m not sure if it’s MS-related. You know what MSers are like, any new symptom and we automatically think it’s to do with MS. We kind of forget we got aches and pains anyway, before MS reared its ugly head.

So it was a weekend of two halves. On Saturday morning, I worked with the builder – yet another 7am start, eek – putting up the world’s most complicated shower screen. All I had to do was sit on the edge of the bath and try to work out the book of instructions and what each of the 200-plus parts were for. Mission accomplished, I picked up The Teenager and took him home to be joyfully reunited with his Playstation.

On Sunday, I woke with my head throbbing in pain. Luckily, The Teenager had a lift to his rugby match, which is just as well as apparently it ended in noisy carnage. Our team was winning, which the opposite team didn’t like very much so they started throwing punches at our lot. Then the parents got involved and the match was suspended. The Teenager arrived home covered in mud from head to toe, face shining with drama and triumph.

The whole of Sunday, after quick dash to the shops for newspapers and a Snickers bar to cheer myself up, I lay on the sofa. I dozed off, woke up, watched telly. When I moved my head, it hurt. Every hour, I gave myself five minutes to dash around sorting out the laundry, tidying up, washing up, then it was back to the sofa. More boring than I can describe. MS is possibly one of the most boring illnesses ever.

Anyone else out there have headaches and MS? Anyone else find MS utterly boring? If so, please let me know how you manage…..

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