Putting On Mascara With Boxing Gloves

Ever tried putting mascara on wearing boxing gloves? Or holding a lovely cup of hot coffee? Pretty tough. My last relapse affected my hands and just for a laugh, they still play up every so often and this weekend was no exception.

Like most relapses, it came out of the blue. One day I was elegant(ish) and my hands were just things that did things hands normally do. I didn’t really give them much thought.

Until the morning I flicked the kettle on and knocked it over, swiftly followed by my cup. Odd. When I left the house that morning, I missed the door handle. Odder.

I tried to explain to the MS nurse that my hands were either a few seconds too quick or a few seconds too slow, they drop things unexpectedly and sometimes they’re so numb, they feel like boxing gloves. It doesn’t sound like such a huge problem, but socially it’s dire.

Putting on make-up is comical – I gave up on eyeliner months ago and mascara wands hurt like hell when they’re poked in the eyes. Lipstick goes on well until, blam, whoops, dodgy line – The Rocky Horror Show’s got nothing on me.

Wine glasses are a minefield. I’ve smashed countless. Be warned, never clink glasses with me, just say cheers and nod. All my plates and bowls are chipped and you can hear me doing the washing up a mile away.

If I’m walking through a cutesy, arty gift shop, I have to keep my hands rigidly by my side or ever so carefully reach out, inch by inch, to pick something up. I can clear a shelf of pottery in one fell swoop. And my days of playing KerPlunk and Operation are long gone.

I used to like craft work but can’t knit any more and the glue gun’s been in the drawer so long it’s seized up. I tried to make a Christmas wreath out of paper hearts and glued everything except the paper. The cat made herself scarce so now I scroll through Pinterest and sigh wistfully.

I persevere though. I am going to invest in melamine plates and plastic wine glasses and I will make that wreath by next Christmas if it kills me. If you see it, be polite and please don’t snigger….

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13 thoughts on “Putting On Mascara With Boxing Gloves

  1. SIF,

    How I hate cute shops with breakable things. (Well, I actually love those shops, but I hate having to edge around holding my breath and making the occasional sideways lurch, which I’m convinced makes others in the shop think I’m a poor shambling drunk who’s probably going to steal something.)

    Several years ago, I had a relapse that severely weakened my right hand. Fortunately, it’s cleared up pretty much completely, but I vividly remember the impossibility of, among other things, putting on makeup. A small thing, to be sure, in the grand scheme of Things That Suck When You Have MS, but looking like crap just compounded the feeling-like-crap aspect of it all.

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Hey there,

      Couldn’t agree more. it’s the little things. Like I currently have problems squeezing out shampoo, so end up with a tiny squirt after several minutes worth of exertion. The straw that breaks the camel’s back and all that…
      X

      • This seems so obvious I’m embarrassed to post it, but I gather you’ve already set the shampoo bottle on its end so there’s less squeezing? Ugh. I feel for you, SIF. Sorry it’s difficult right now.

        • stumbling in flats says:

          I surely have, but not a bad question for someone like me! It’s just random. I have problems with shampoo bottles, but can pop the lid off a Ben and Jerry’s. Maybe worse first thing in the morning – must do the ice cream experiment for breakfast some time. For purely scientific purposes only of course.
          I have been known to stand on tricky shampoo bottle and scoop up what comes out. Not a good look in the shower, and a bit dodgy.
          X

  2. p.s. I do hope you’ll post pictures of the wreath and I promise there’ll be no sniggering from me.

    • stumbling in flats says:

      I promise, when I make it, I WILL post a pic! It’s such a lovely idea. You make little hearts from paper then glue them all together, minus the cat. Then, voila, a pretty wreath to welcome the visitors! I will give it another bash. Very creatively frustrated at the moment.
      x

      • Good – I look forward to it (a random clump or two of cat hair might add a little dash of unexpected flair…just something to consider).

        • stumbling in flats says:

          Her cat hair gets everywhere as it is!! I have just caught the offender balanced on the open window in the living room, scratching the rubber lining. I mean, why? There’s trees everywhere. Pesky cat.
          X

  3. scot says:

    Hi ,
    Well as usual , another great post. It made me smile as I was reading it and brought back some memories , some not so good but some rather funny now , of course at the time it was embarrassing. I remember when my hands first started carting up I would and still do get major twitching , he’ll my hands & arms go into full swings . I was out with my family for Easter dinner at a really nice restraint and I was bringing a fork full of mashed potatoes to my mouth ,or at least that was my intentions but half way to my mouth my hand started shaking and then my arm twitched w/ full enthusiasm and my potatoes ended up in the head of a very nice older gentleman who was come to find out with a woman whom he was desperately trying to impress because it was there first date !!! I ( &most of my family) was totally appalled , though my 2 sons & a couple of my nieces & nephews , all young teenagers at the time found it very amusing . Well after saying I’m sorry at least 1000 x ‘s and explaining to the gentleman he was very understanding and so was his date …. I also remember going to the men’s room on the way out and let’s just say your boxing glove analogy is perfect , and I had to leave the restaurant with my fly opened !!! The ” fly thing ” is an on going issue for me , I really wish someone would come up with something to replace the darn zipper on pants , Velcro doesn’t hold good enough and buttons are an even bigger nightmare ! But anyways thanks for the smile , it’s good to remember that MS can provide amusement every now and then … <3 :-)

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Hi Scot!
      Bless you with the mashed potato! And you’re right – we’ve got to find the funny side with MS. How about magnetic strips for trousers??
      I find buttons fiddly. And I could probably spend a frustrating hour trying to thread a needle. Weird how quickly it just becomes a normal part of life!
      X

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