Tag Archives: Lemtrada

Lemtrada – Fact and Fiction

As a three-time recipient of the MS drug Lemtrada, I was concerned back in April this year when a report came out about it being restricted.

I read into it further and realised my own (possible) courses of this treatment would be secure and I wrote an earlier blog post about this issue.

However, I’m still being contacted by several concerned friends(some of whom have also had Lemtrada) and organisations who referred to the temporary restriction as a ‘ban’. Again, I looked in to this further as the word ‘ban’ was pretty emotive for me, and somewhat frightening.

In short, Lemtrada (also referred to as Alemtuzumab or Campath)  is a mono-clonal antibody which can give remission from MS for years. It’s what my neurologist told me back in 2012, when I was first prescribed it off-license, as my  MS was rapidly-evolving and highly-active.

I jumped (badly, and with a stumble) at the chance as I could see my future health deteriorating with alarming speed. Having a child starting High School when I was diagnosed, it was imperative that I had a swift, sharp shock when it came to MS.

To date, more than 22,000 patients worldwide have had this treatment for MS. Alasdair Coles, who was closely involved with Lemtrada development said, ‘In treating (MS) I use the strongest drug I can, as early as possible, and I like to use (Lemtrada) … first-line, unless the patient doesn’t want to take the risk.’

Well, that’s me. I took the risk and developed Grave’s Disease as a result. I knew I had a one in three chance, but the alternative was far worse. I would rather be fat and MS-happy than thin and on the floor, the way I was heading. Don’t get me wrong, my weight gets me down (lol) but I can cope with it; MS nearly destroyed me back then.

Lemtrada has been temporarily restricted – it’s not a ‘ban’, it’s a ‘label change’. It is still prescribed, even for new patients, and this is in line with the American prescribing guidelines. The review of Lemtrada will be carried out by the Pharmacovigilance Risk Assessment Committee (PRAC) and will deliver recommendations.

I can only relate my story – I was told Lemtrada could hold back MS and for that reason, I took it. I’m lucky I have access to a fantastic neurologist and am aware that not everyone has this option.

I’m only one of the many human faces of Lemtrada and I dearly wish the medical authorities will listen to us when they decide our fate and those of all the people who are being newly-diagnosed every single day.

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The Best Worst Day of My Life

Six years ago on Friday 25th May, it’ll be my six year MS-versary.

Six!

It feels like yesterday. I vividly remember parking up a whole hour early, my car facing the huge hospital before me.

For some bizarre reason, I tried out a new lip-gloss as I waited, a freebie from a magazine I was probably too old for, my nerves shredded.

After an hour, I locked the car and made my way to the clinic where I flicked through a battered Argos catalogue. I was called through and in less than ten minutes I was diagnosed with a highly-active form of MS and offered two different treatments.

I left, dazed, spaced-out, stumbling, a sign of things to come. I stuffed the leaflets into my bag, sat in the car and exhaled, catching sight of that awful lip-gloss in the mirror. It truly was dreadful,  but at that point, I could’ve painted a clown face on and not worried about it.

No one wants to be diagnosed with MS, but after 10 months of endless relapses, I just needed an answer, and with that, access to vital treatment. In the interim, I was spinning around in a frightening world of anxiety and fear. My health was declining rapidly, I was confused and I was losing control of my life; partner left, sacked from work. Cat stuck by me.

In the car, I smiled. I would be treated. The medicine, no matter how brutal (and it was pretty harsh), would slow this all down. Give me some breathing space, allow me the energy to get The Teenager through High School, that he’d just started. The timing wasn’t great.

Six years on and three courses of Alemtuzumab treatment later – one more course than the usual two, thanks to a particularly active bunch of lesions – we’re still here and still doing well (or ‘calm‘, as The Teenager would say).

He’s wrapping up his first year at University and I’m doing … ok. Ish. It’s been an unimaginably steep learning curve, adapting to a life I’d imagined would be a couple of decades in the future. Slowing down, readjusting.

I sleep a lot and have the whole routine down to a tee – blanket, earplugs, zonk. I’m gone. I can quite literally say, I could sleep anywhere, anytime. And that’s before 8 hours at night.

I trip a lot. I fall over a lot. My hands are wonky and my feet don’t listen to me. And as for the nerve pain; that’s a whole different matter.

Six years on, I’m in a perpetual cycle of adapting, albeit on a downward path. Yet the more I go downwards, the more my mind struggles to stay afloat.

I push myself, then have a little nap.

I could count out my post-MS life in naps. But I would far rather count it out in successes. We’re still here, and we’re here for the long-term.

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Expert By Experience

speechI’m ever so slightly nervous.

I’ve been invited to speak at a neurological conference, about my experience of MS treatment: in my case, Lemtrada.

I’m nervous on two counts:

  • I’m not a hugely experienced public speaker
  • It’s taking place just outside Budapest, Hungary (and I’m going in two days, eeeek).

However, I am going and I will do my absolute best – it’s a topic I’m passionate about and if that means conquering my MS-travel-related-anxieties, then so be it.

I’ve written (and re-drafted) my speech and I think it comes from the heart. In it, I discuss my decision-making process in choosing the treatment I had and the benefits of it. And also the downsides.

It it empowering to have a voice and to discuss in public the importance of choice. Reflecting back over the last couple of decades of my life, my voice was somewhat quashed; whether through experiences or through people I allowed into my life, with all their notions about how I should act, what I couldn’t say. It’s kind of poetic irony that my first relapse affected my speech.

So MS may have taken away my speech with one hand but it gave me back an attitude – a desire to create change – with the other. Blogging has been a huge part of this – from meek beginnings, where I hid my identity for fear of ridicule or prejudicing the legal case against employers who sacked me for having MS, to my more strident posts, yet always trying to demonstrate a balance of how life actually is for a small family coping with MS.

However, finding a voice is also about listening to other voices, and the thousands of comments on my posts I’ve received over the years have proved that, over and over again. You guys have sanded off my sharp edges, picked me up when I’ve been down and virtually held my hand through Teenager crises.

And that’s why a large part of my speech is devoted to you, and the power of support. When I took The Teenager to Uni almost two weeks ago, I didn’t feel alone, even as a single parent. I really felt that you guys were there with me, every step of the way.

And it’s also why we are all ‘experts by experience’ – a phrase mentioned to me by a fellow blogger, Patrick. We both agree that the usual, ‘expert patient’ can still make us appear as passive recipients of care, whereas ‘experts by experience’ emboldens us, allowing us to stand up and say, ‘yes, amongst everyone here, the neurologists, the physiotherapists, the researchers, I’ve had the treatment and I am the expert too.’

So, listen to me?

It’s me who went through the lumbar puncture, the MRI’s, the blood tests, the initial steroids to ward off relapses, the actual treatment, administered in a drip. I’ve been completely floored and got back up again. The different tablets for weeks afterwards to ward off infection. The fatigue, the weakness, the all-too-quick-recovery back into work before time.

We’re symbiotic – the health care professionals and us, the patients.

We work together?

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All Clear On The Campath Front

all clearIf you’ve had a relapse, such as my epic one earlier this year, you almost want it to prove itself.

Mind you, that proof would take the form of lesions on the brain, which is definitely not a good thing.

So I was torn when I had my last MRI. Having just re-entered the real world after being locked in an abysmal cycle of worsening symptoms for over five months, I was enjoying my freedom.

The thought of having to factor in another course of Campath in amongst getting The Teenager University-ready was something my brain just couldn’t compute.

On the other hand, if the scan showed up nothing, what on earth was going on? Is this it? Can I expect more of these epic MS smacks-around-the-face? Would this be my life from now on?

Anyway, the excellent news is, my scan is clear, and that is all that matters. No disease progression. No need for further treatment at this stage. My brain is just fine.

After saying, ‘thank you, thank you, OMG, thank you’ over and over again to my MS nurse who imparted this wondrous news, I then asked, ‘erm, so what do I do now?’

Well, nothing. It’s a kind of waiting game. The relapses I’m experiencing are normal for my type of MS. And there you have it, MS in a nutshell. You just don’t know. You’ll never know, from one day to the next, how it’s going to hit you. Every day is a lucky-dip.

Take this week. On Monday, I was awake. Fully awake. No yawns, not much pain, minimal brain fog. Apart from the usual twinges and walking in to walls, I was fine. On Tuesday, the nerves in my legs were on fire. I fell asleep after work and my hands went numb with alarming frequency. I tripped over in the kitchen, scattering chopped rosemary all over the floor (can’t blame the cat this time).

I’m beyond relieved I don’t need treatment this year; every day I wake up and it’s like remembering the glorious news all over again. The absolute relief is immense. Yet the fear hasn’t receded.

But hey, this is life. As The Teenager quoted to me earlier from John Lennon, as we were waiting for him to have his meningitis jab, ‘Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end’.

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Perception Is Everything …

wombleHaving worked the entire bank holiday weekend, I’m shattered and filled to the brim with bricks/wood/steel beam measurements.

Not the best position with an MS-brain like mine.

During this relapse, The Boss has been picking me up and dropping me off for work as my legs go a bit wonky and my head is somewhere in the clouds.

Lovely. Not only do I save petrol, I also cleverly factor in Gumtree pick-ups, such as yesterday;

‘Um. Boss. Y’know years ago we did that job in that street opposite that car place?’

‘Oh, yeah? That was ages ago?’

‘Yeah, should we drive past? See if they did that thing we mentioned?’

He finally twigs. I come clean.

‘S’was on Gumtree. Same road. Free plant pots. Silly not to really?’

And so it was, I picked up loads of free plant pots  on my way home yesterday. Excellent. I had used my powers of innate perception.

I hate my routine at the moment – work, home, work, home. With a relapse, there’s no space left for anything remotely meaningful.

Except random free offers of plant pots. I spent a happy half hour scooping earth I’d bought two years ago into a free pot. There was a worm in every handful. But I was kind of happy.

Perception. I could look at it one way:

Tragic divorced single parent with an incurable neurological illness, nudging late early 40’s.

Or:

Exuberant, vibrant, independent 43 year old parent of an awesome Teenager, with an abundance of spirit … and MS’.

I mean me; I’m talking about the same person.

And that’s why I’m trying to re-frame my life – if I see myself one way, people react. The other way, people react. So, maybe I should shove all my sad-person preconceptions to one side and big myself up for once;

‘Fat MS womble, taking on the world?’

I’m embracing the F-Word at long last – Campath-Induced Grave’s Disease be damned …

p.s. this post derives from a random conversation with The Boss about the remote possibility of me venturing in to the dating world again …

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