Stumbling in Flats

Having multiple sclerosis, just how hard is it to show sympathy to people who are a little under the weather but who make a lot of noise about it? Has MS made me less compassionate, and do I somehow think no one else has the right to moan to me about their own troubles?

I only ask as two friends and The Teenager have recently been struck down by a bad cold. All three are male, so naturally ‘man flu’ has been mooted as a possibility, but to be fair, they do seem very poorly and I am trying to be sympathetic, listen attentively and give helpful suggestions. I care about these people and hate to see them ill.

But a teeny-tiny-little part of me thinks it’s a bit like expecting a poor person to empathise with a rich guy when his Porsche is in the garage for repairs. Sure, it’s an inconvenience, but it’s temporary and normal service will resume soon enough. I feel like saying, ‘ill? You’re ill? You want to see what ill is?’ How awful is that? What sort of person am I, to even think that?

I have bored my friends to tears over the last year, constantly dissecting symptoms to the nth degree, analysing lesions and spilling out my fears for the future. They have sat with me through a merry-go-round of appointments, held my hand during MRI’s and kept my glass of wine filled. So I feel very small-minded to begrudge them that little bit of extra attention and help when they need it. I have offered to drive 18 miles through the rain to bring supplies to one friend and have tucked The Teenager up in bed with a book and hot Lemsip. This is one battle the MS Monster won’t win. MS may be for life, but so are friends and family.