Tag Archives: Bridget Jones

Jan 28 2014
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Daily Life

Don’t Mention The ‘V’ Word

happy valentine's dayDuring the first week of January (when I went to stock up on Creme Eggs), I briefly thought about boycotting my local newsagent.

On leaving the store I was brutally confronted with a huge display under the banner ‘Winter Essentials’.

Alongside the de-icer, Arctic-proof gloves and those grip things you attach to your shoes, was a stand full of Valentine’s cards, plastic red roses and cheap teddies holding sateen hearts. Pah.

So having a significant other is now a Winter Essential? Double pah.

Not long after, I had an email offering me and my significant other a ‘truly romantic experience on that most romantic day of the year’ at my local gastro-pub. A glass of cheap sparkling wine on arrival, a wilted red rose for ‘the lady’ and a three course lovingly-prepared meal to ‘tingle the palate’. And all for only £42 a head. Are they having a laugh?

The evil-singleton side of me toyed with the idea of schlepping along on that most romantic of days, sitting in the bar and watching awkward couples crammed into the restaurant. But that’s a bit mean. Isn’t it?

Maybe I should launch myself back onto the dating scene? There’s a few problems with that though:

  • MS
  • I still dress like a student and don’t wear strappy heels. And I haven’t mastered the art of a sophisticated up-do.
  • I would yawn my way though dates, and not solely because my companion is regaling me with tales of his pot-holing.
  • MS
  • I still need to lose a few stone pounds.
  • MS

My friends and family are very encouraging though. ‘It’s not about the MS, it’s about you, who you are.’ ‘You have lovely eyes.’ (what they say to fat people). And my ever-adoring son, ‘Have you sent off your application for the next series of The Undateables yet?’

Well I reckon we should scrap Valentine’s Day. Let’s have a new celebration, Singleton Day. This would involve buying an M&S meal-deal for a tenner (including a bottle of wine) and scoffing/quaffing the whole lot on our own, with ‘I Will Survive’ playing on a loop in the background. We could encourage our friends to send us boxes of chocolates to help us ease the pain. Three layers of mascara would be an essential, all the better to show our tears with.

So spare a thought for us sad, lonely, slipper-wearing, talking-to-the-cat peeps. And all donations of recycled men gratefully received…..

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Nov 11 2012
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My Ramblings

Why, Mr Darcy….

After some serious blog posts about being sacked from my job for having MS, it is good to bring some breathtakingly exciting news – Bridget Jones returns! There will be a third novel published next Autumn and I have donned my big pants in celebration.

Bridget played a pretty big role in my life. I read the novel while I was pregnant (always arriving late to a trend) and the first film came out when The Teenager was a baby. I remember watching it with a sigh of relief that I was past that stage, yet bittersweetly nostalgic for my ‘carefree’ single days. Mind you, I have never had two men fighting over me (oi, over here, Darcy!) and it never snowed quite so beautifully when I lived in London. But what Bridget showed legions of women, including me, was that it was ok to be less than perfect, or overweight or not entirely sure of which direction our lives were headed in. She spoke for all of us.

I identified with Bridget in so many ways – the badly-put-together work wardrobe, the awkwardness, the rampant self-doubt and the complete inability to cook for a dinner party. I winced with recognition at her eagerness to be wanted by Daniel Cleaver, the cad. And I too feared I would end my days alone, half-eaten by Alsatians.

I am worried though, that if they age Bridget in real time, she will be in her late 40’s. Will she be as funny? Will she be blogging instead of writing a diary and counting her Twitter followers instead of how many cigarettes she smokes? Crucially, will she still speak for all of us? I await with baited breath.

If I were Bridget, my daily life would be something like: Alcohol units: too many, Weight: fluctuating, Meds: 3 plus 5 supplements, Hours spent seeking blogging inspiration: 2.5.

Note to self: Lose weight, drink less and eat more vegetables. Then my very own Mr Darcy may just come along…

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