I was with the boss one morning last week; we were driving to a warehouse to buy something or other for our latest project.
He pointed towards the humungous Tesco Extra on our left, saying, ‘it’s been refurbished, there’s a Costa there now too.’
‘Oh, um, great! Must check it out, but you know my heart lies with Ocado.’
We got the something or other from the warehouse, loaded the van up and drove away.
‘Hey, boss! Did’ya know that Tesco’s has had some kind of makeover. Someone told me. And Costa’s has opened. That one, over there.’
Then, ‘are you winding me up?’
‘Nope, boss. Just know you love your Costa coffee with the caramel swirly thing.’
‘Yeeeeeees (very, very, slowly), but ten minutes ago I told you about it. You’re freaking me out.’
‘Your memory, honestly’ – then all I heard was the word ‘dim’.
‘Oi! I’m not dim. I won a medal once. For badminton.’
‘Noooooooooooo (very, very, slowly), I said you’re like a dimmer switch. Sometimes very bright but other times, you know, dimmer. More dim. No, not dim. Just not as bright. But not dim as such. You know what I mean.’
*sulks all the way to the meeting with the architect*
But, he had a point. My memory over the last six weeks has been atrocious. Embarrassingly so. I asked my mum, ‘I know I’m ancient now, but was your memory this bad when you were 41?’
Mums are a polite bunch, aren’t they? ‘Well, dear, we’re all different. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We all find our unique place in the world. But yes, your memory is dire.’
The Teenager plays on this – ‘But you said, you said I could have a Dominos. Is your memory playing up again? Don’t forget you said we could get a dog. AND, remember that £20 I owe you? I’m so happy I paid you back’ (he didn’t. I know this for a fact). Nice try.
Anyway, on the one hand, it’s a great cop-out (pesky MS cog fog), but on the other, I am liable to be hoodwinked on a regular basis, plus I just can’t remember anything important. I have to write everything down, to the point that when I walk through my house, I’m accosted by a forest of post-it notes. Which I can’t remember writing. What does ‘T-hhhhhhh!! CJ R’ even mean?
And as for Costa Coffee. I haven’t been yet. Did I tell you they opened one in my local Tesco Extra?