Tag Archives: snowpocalypse

For Sale: One Cat

Our recent snowpocalypse has meant I have been forced to endure my cat’s company for far longer than is natural. For the last four days, I have only ventured out the house to buy food, have a quick coffee with friends and check in on my mum, trekking through the snow and back with my solitary ski pole.

The rest of the time, I have stayed at home. Or the cat’s home, as she would have you believe. She’s been skulking around, eyeing me suspiciously and virtually handing me my keys and pointing to the front door.

Yesterday was the final straw. I ran out of Felix cat food and bought in own-brand from Sainsbury’s. She is now on hunger strike, roaming the living room in protest, getting under my feet – not a great idea with foot drop. She randomly pounces on her toy mouse, just when I’ve got a hot drink in my hand. She leaps for the windowsill and falls off. She skids across the floor.

I have a lovely duvet tucked behind my sofa, which I bring out to snuggle under when I’m watching telly, waiting for the heating to kick in. The cat paces the room and as soon as I get up, she’s there, sprawled out, smug grin on her face before she proceeds to wash her bits loudly.

I took pity on her yesterday (why?). I was in one of those bargain stores and found a little cat bed for a fiver. I’ve recently bought a small stove for the living room and thought, how sweet, wouldn’t it be nice to see her in front of the fire, like a normal cat? So I bought it, took it home, wrapped her special blanket round it and popped it in front of the fire. Perfect.

She hasn’t been near it. As I write this at my desk, she is on my duvet, on my sofa, executing an intricate yoga move, trying to clean her neck. Don’t get me wrong, I love her to pieces, but I think we have spent too much time together. I am in danger of turning into a ranting, solitary loony who can only talk about her cat.

Tomorrow, it will be different. I am re-engaging in normal life again. I may just buy her some Felix. If she gets off my duvet….

(This is not the first time I’ve complained about my cat (tragically). You can read more about her here, in my previous post, I Used To Like My Cat)

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Not Such a Clever Idea….

Ok, who suggested I should take some ski poles and go out walking in the white stuff?? And it all started so well. At 7am yesterday morning I was doing a little jig in the snow outside my house, the cat glaring at me accusingly from the window. Gloves, hooded jacket and ski poles were primed and ready to go, so I had a bit of a quick trial run, eventually deciding I looked less like a weirdo with just the one.

The Teenager was busy messaging his friends while I got myself loaded up. Keys, check. Mobile, check. Wallet, check. Huge ruck-sack, check. Emergency ration biscuits. Only joking. I headed off, feeling a bit silly with the ski pole, especially when someone yelled, ‘oi, you lost one!’ at me from the other side of the road. So far so good though.

I trekked up to the shops, feeling intrepid and adventurous and soon got into a semi-comfortable stride. Any foot drop I had was hidden by the snow. I got to the supermarket, but snowpocalypse had already struck. There was no bread, no potatoes, not much meat and hardly any fruit left. The shelves had been stripped bare. I picked up some grotty mushrooms, half-price bacon, Monster Munch crisps and a tub of double cream (no idea why, seemed a good idea).

After a quick coffee pit-stop, I trekked up the hill to my mum’s with a newspaper, another coffee, then over to Tom, the elderly guy I check in on. Stopped for a tea and a chat, then trekked back up to the shops to meet a friend for coffee, eventually getting home four hours after I set off. My cheeks were ablaze with redness, I felt exhilarated and generally rather fab. Until I took my welly boots off and crumpled in a heap in the hall.

Excruciating cramp in my legs, a sore hand from gripping my ski pole and a huge wave of tiredness sent me straight to my sofa. My legs and feet are still tingling and buzzing. Think I got a bit carried away. Note to self – perhaps take it a bit easier in the snow next time…

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