This is not shaping up to be the best week. I called the office for some feedback for the work I had done from home and had emailed over to them. The telephone call lasted 53 seconds. Great.
I have two months grace from being dismissed from my job for having MS. I still need to be able to contact the office. I hate working from home. I liked getting up in the morning, having my coffee, getting ready for work. Leaving the house.
I have been cast adrift and I am not enjoying it. Routine has disappeared. Coffees, once gulped down at the same time as doing my mascara, now take far longer. I sit in my dressing gown watching the news. 8.30am passes me by, the time I would normally be in the office.
I am sinking into lethargy. I am stressed. All my MS symptoms are coming back. My feet buzz and tingle incessantly, my left arm doesn’t work properly and I am unbalanced on my feet. I just want to go back to bed and pull the duvet over my head. I drove past my old workplace today. and I was so close to stopping the car, pressing the buzzer and yelling at them. How can they treat me like this? Why are they doing this to me?
In desperation, I went to my sister’s kiddy Hallowe’en party, just to get out the house. It was great to be surrounded by miniature Frankensteins, witches and Harry Potter’s. There was nothing else on their minds except grabbing the largest slice of pizza or getting the highest score on the Wii.
I need to get back into the swing of things. I need to maintain a routine. I don’t want to sink, but a big part of me thinks it would be far easier to give into it.
So, if you’re passing, knock my door and take me out. Anywhere, just out.