Weak As A Kitten

weak as a kittenCompared to last year’s Campath infusion, I am a whole lot more tired this time around.

Mind you, ‘tired’ doesn’t even begin to describe it – that’d be a bit like saying you’re a tad sleepy when in fact you’ve been poleaxed by MS fatigue. Utterly, thoroughly, totally exhausted would be more apt. Drained of energy, flat battery, squashed, deflated.

Since I got back from hospital on Wednesday afternoon, I have wobbled unsteadily between my sofa, my bed, the fridge and microwave. Right now, these are the four cornerstones of my daily life, with regular medication punctuating the long hours in between. Alongside all my usual pills, I need to take anti-histamines four times a day for a week and anti-virals twice a day for a month. If I had the energy to jump up and down, I’d rattle.

I feel nauseous and spaced out. Thoughts float through my mind on fluffy white clouds and float back out again. The world is either moving a second too slow or a second too fast. I can’t work out which. Everything is slightly fuzzy round the edges.

I have little five-minute pockets of energy,when I raise myself from the sofa and slowly pinball around the house finding little jobs to do, just so I feel I’m doing something. Only problem is, I forget halfway through what I was meant to be doing. I stand for minutes, staring at a pair of socks in my hands. What am I supposed to do with them? Or, why am I holding an empty toilet roll?

The steroids don’t seem to have left my system quite yet either, so I wake up in the middle of the night and still have a ravenous appetite. I’m like a locust, stripping food cupboards bare. Half a packet of digestives, circa last year? Yes please. Two bits of dried apricot stuck together? Nom nom.

All this to one side though, I am thankful that at least I know I will feel better very soon, unlike a relapse when it’s anyone’s guess. There is a definite end in sight.

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12 thoughts on “Weak As A Kitten

  1. Chris says:


    I hope your doing OK

    Do you look like the cat? Head back, gazed look and your tongue hanging out?

    Ang in there.



    • stumbling in flats says:

      I’m doing as well as can be expected, thanks!
      Actually, I look far worse than the cat, but didn’t want to shock anyone too much.

  2. :/ hopefully you feel better soon

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Thanks Jennifer,
      I really thought I was on the up today, but think it was a temporary blip, brought on by the sight of all the ice cream my mum brought over!

  3. Jenny says:

    Jobs can wait, don’t want to hinder your recovery!!! Sofa, chocolate and some good chick flicks should help. Hope you feel better soon x

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Very true. I’m loving my sofa, but for some reason I seem to be recording horror movies rather than chick flicks. There must be some psychological reason for this, lol. And the Walking Dead and The Returned. Hmm. Would love to work out what that’s all about!

  4. Tricia says:

    Love the cat, you take care, look after yourself, you keep us reading and hopeful x x x x

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Thanks Tricia. The picture made me smile – always a good thing! My own cat’s just sneezed so loud, she fell off the sofa. Still giggling.

  5. Jenny says:

    At last I’ve found someone else who watches The Returned AND The Walking Dead! Whenever I mention them to any friends they give me a blank look. Great tv!

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Woo hoo!!! A fellow fan!! I absolutely love The Returned. Can’t wait for tonight.BUT. Heard it won’t all be wrapped up – it’ll go over into the second series. Which they haven’t even shot yet, meh. And I adore the music. And Simon, sigh.

  6. What’s The Returned?! Have I missed some fab new show? Or I bet it’s on BBC America, which I DON’T GET…blast!

    Oh, most importantly, hope you are feeling better. I like that the cat sneezed/fell off the sofa. 🙂

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Well!!!! The Returned is a fabulous French drama that’s just finished here. Very arty – about people suddenly coming back from the dead, looking just as they did the day they died. THE GOOD NEWS is – America is making it’s own version!!!

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