You Can’t Argue With MS

play-doh brainAlong with sprouts, bad telly and a chocolate overdose, Christmas just wouldn’t be Christmas without a few arguments.

I now know I will never win another one as long as MS insists on using my brain as Play-doh.

I used to be quite good at thinking on my feet, remembering the punchlines to jokes and telling anecdotes without losing the thread halfway through. I could also hold my own pretty well in an argument or disagreement.

Those days have passed and I now sit with a slightly perplexed look on my face as I work out my response to a point made ten minutes earlier. In the spirit of fairness, I reckon us peeps with MS should be given a few allowances when it comes to arguing:

  • We should be given prior notice, giving us time to think of some clever and witty retorts.
  • We should be allowed to take notes during the aforementioned argument. A personal scribe should be allotted if, like me, your handwriting is now worse than your neurologist’s.
  • We should be granted ‘argument breaks’, allowing us time to gather our thoughts (and energy). Lucozade should be supplied as standard.
  • Similarly, a sofa should be made available if we start yawning, and the argument rescheduled for a more convenient time.

I’m resigning myself to the fact that I am now a pushover when it comes to arguing, although when The Teenager starts one (all too frequently over this festive season), I end up falling back on that age-old parent phrase – ‘because I said so’. Which isn’t very original, but you can’t argue with that one. This is normally followed by The Teenager storming upstairs and blasting out his music.

To be honest, I don’t really miss point-scoring and the hollow victory of winning every argument. My initial frustration has given way to calm acceptance and I have now added it to my list of things I have lost, along with heels and staying up past my bedtime.

So the next time an argument brews, I will stumble inelegantly away or just stay put and use one of The Teenager’s favourite phrases, ‘talk to the hand’..

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6 thoughts on “You Can’t Argue With MS

  1. I am SO on board with all of your suggestions. Arguments are even more horrifying now that I have MS. Once there was a time I could think of a witty retort within minutes; now, it’s hours (or days) (or never)!

  2. LOLA HALE says:

    How do you know what is in my head?

    I loved this post as yes, arguing is nearly impossible… no quick retort from me any more!

    Also jokes… I used to be able to tell jokes even better than teeny Ronnie Corbett in his comfy chair(lol)but now all the crucial comedy timing has left me and the punchline is blurted out too early in the story. I swear that I hear a bell toll slowly each time I try to be funny… so sad… that’s all I had at times!!

    Thanks for the post!!

    Lola x

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Hi Lola!
      Thank you! I heard a brilliant phrase on University Challenge over Christmas (oo, get me) – esprit d’escalier. It means the state of thinking of a reply too late. Think that sums us up perfectly! And trust the French to have such a lovely sounding way of putting it, lol.

  3. Kerri says:

    So true. All of it. I found myself emphatically saying “yes. Yes. YES!” as I was reading this.
    So sorry it’s like this for you too, but grateful you wrote about it. I am rightly accused of taking “argument breaks”. He calls it walking away, but it is indeed time to gather thoughts and energy in a quiet place before continuing.

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Hi there!
      So good to hear it’s not just me, lol. I’ve pretty much given up arguing (apart from with The Teenager…). Just can’t hold the threads of an argument together. Thank goodness I didn’t train as a barrister otherwise I’d be out of a job!

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