Thanks to MS, my life-plan is all up in the air right now, so what I need is a ‘wantologist’, right? Yup, the latest craze from California is to get yourself a wantologist, an offshoot of a life-coach. Originally devised to help business managers make purchasing decisions, could this be the Holy Grail I am seeking?
Apparently, the first step is to think about what you want, then decide if you are ‘floating’ or ‘navigating’ towards your goal. Seriously? After that, you have to describe how you would feel once you have what you want. People pay for this?
Ok, so assuming I find a wantologist in the Yellow Pages, can you imagine how my initial session would go?
‘Right dear, mind the incense stick, oh and watch out for the candle. Now, sit down, clear your mind and breathe deeply. Concentrate on what you really, really want. Can you tell me?’
‘A cure for multiple sclerosis, please’.
‘Oh. How would you feel if you had a cure for multiple sclerosis?’
‘Um, healthy?’
‘And how can you attain this goal?’
‘Raise money from bake-sales to help fund vital research?’
‘And how would that make you feeeeel?’
‘Happy?’
‘Are you floating towards that goal or navigating?’
‘Well, I’m feeling pretty floaty on that incense’.
‘Ok. You go away and make some cakes; navigate towards that goal! You have the inner strength! You can do it! Now, that’ll be £95 please. We take all cards’.
I have ‘wantology’ conversations with my friends and family all the time. We all do! I’ll chat to my friends about what job I want, which pair of shoes I should buy, which shade of lippy suits me best. Through chats over coffee or wine, we put the world to rights and sort out thorny issues, they help clarify the jumble in my mind. I don’t need an expert to replace that.
Mind you, with my sticky job situation at the moment, I’m tempted to take the two-day (yes, really!) training course and set myself up as one. But how would it make me feel? Shall I float or navigate?
So…one of the coaches I trained and certified in Want-ology® forwarded this to me, since I developed the method. And first, let me acknowledge you for living with MS…and rest assured I would not have the conversation above with you. I’m not a cheerleader type, I suppose–and for the many ways my friends and colleagues would describe me, “woo-woo” would probably not be among them. 🙂
Want-ology® is about the potential to shift your attention and the consciousness you bring to situations, and get you out of the mentally and emotionally “stuck” places one finds oneself in. I don’t know if Want-ology® would be a good thing for you to do, whether it would be helpful or not. Always happy to have that conversation first (I usually pre-screen clients so we both understand what we’re getting into with a 15 minute complementary conversation).
And I don’t know whether you would be happy being a certified Want-ology® Coach/Facilitator–(the press came up with the term “wantologist”), which is more like a 24 hour training plus a 3-6 month additional mentoring period until you demonstrated you could make the shift in the way you look at “wants.” Again, we always talk before you start…
But here is what I would offer as some context…my father passed away last year after a long battle with leukemia. We didn’t spend any time on the wishes and dreams of being healthy and having a magic cure, although that is a wonderful thought. And I didn’t spend much time on wishing that I didn’t have to go through watching and tending him. Because I use “Want-ology®” on myself, too… What he wanted was to be as healthy and active as he could for as long as he could, and spend as little time incapacitated and “dying” as possible, it guided our treatment decisions. And what I truly wanted was “Least Regrets”–which is what got me through the long weeks and months. It shifted me out of the fear and confusion and guilt and longing to instead being able to be fully present. And that’s what we got.
I would never compare the specifics of my situation to yours, and it sounds as if you are fully and consciously engaged. I would say you are “navigating.” I wish you all the best, whether your path takes you toward Want-ology® or not. And thanks for blogging!
Hi Kevin,
I was so pleased to receive your comment and to ‘hear your side’ of the media story of Want-ology. I know the press can be guilty of pulling a small thread from a larger story to create a space-filler.
The way you have described your method makes perfect sense and I am happy to publish this comment to balance the picture!
I liked reading about the process you had with your father. It was almost as if you were ‘mindful’? Rather than concentrating on the impossible, just concentrating on the here and now? This is a concept very close to my heart.
Thank you for saying I am ‘navigating’! You sound like a very interesting person and I will be looking into Want-ology a bit closer.
Best wishes and thank you again.