I was feeling very smug the other day in work.
We’re currently on an outside project and the sun was blazing.
I could feel myself getting hotter and hotter as the day went on, so I disappeared at carefully-staggered intervals into the shade and called my mum for a random chat or scrolled through Twitter or simply watched the sheep stroll past (It’s Wales, we were up a mountain).
Anyway, as we were wrapping up, I remarked, ‘Oi, boss, see! I’m not as red as I usually am! Result, eh?’
He glanced my way, burst out laughing and told me to look in a mirror. I did. Oh. Bright red, round face. But! I wasn’t lying stunned on the grass, flapping my arms like a hot-weather snow angel, felled by Herr Uhthoff, Master of Heat Intolerance. I was being proactive and mature (for once), taking time out to cool down before I collapsed in a soggy heap.
This made me think. Have a I finally grown up with regards to MS? Or am I just fed up shaking my fist at it, daring it to strike me down? Perhaps I am, and MS has fully integrated itself into my life, like some kind of tapeworm, but without the added advantage of rapid weight loss.
I decided to clock just how much I now regard as normal:
- Tripping over the bath mat every single day. Also, doorstep, dustballs and the kitten.
- Having to hold a cup of coffee with two hands and will myself to keep hold of it.
- Dozing off at the good bit during telly programmes and dropping my bag of chocolate buttons.
- Mixing up my words and making people laugh, when sometimes, I’m actually telling them something quite sad.
- Forgetting simple words and using a lot of Italian gestures to make up the shortfall (quite a natty effect, I think).
- Fumbling with buttons and zips (my own, tsk).
I’m also applying my new-found maturity to my studies. Before, I could sit for hours thinking about different ways to say the same thing in essays. Well. I now have a handy list. For example, if I want to give an example, I could say:
- as an illustration
- to demonstrate
- for instance
Which means my essays are now full of lots of examples, but I need to find lots of examples to use the example phrases. Confused? Me too.
Anyway, it may have taken almost four years, but I think I’m now at the stage, largely through repetition, where what was once odd and disconcerting is now, well, normal life for me. I struggle to forget what life was like B4MS, not helped by my goldfish memory.
Did I tell you what happened in work the other day?
I commend you on your adaptation to life. Keep moving forward no matter what the challenges Just do it differently .. little mishaps part of life …Keep MS in the background its like a pain in the butt and not a blemish on ur forehead !!!! Keep smiling
Yup, it’s all about adapting and sometimes it just creeps up on you 🙂
It’s all about keeping it back as much as possible but still getting on with life!
My wife said that I’m repeating myself, the other day…
Bye the way does anyone know what tautology is? Does it mean ….repeating oneself?
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be………..
It sure ain’t. I’m still making people laugh by forgetting words and repeating pointless ones …