Tag Archives: bored

This Is A Boring Post

‘I’m bored. Bored, bored, bored.’ (stamps foot)

Think this is The Teenager expecting me to entertain him? Nope. It’s me talking to a friend.

Something all the leaflets about all the symptoms of MS don’t cover is the sheer, mind-numbing boredom that comes with it.

MS itself is never boring – there’s the unexpected delight of waking up in the morning wondering just what symptom it will chuck at you today, and MS has a whole bag of them. But with these symptoms comes the crushing boredom.

Top of the list is the boredom that comes with having to sleep. A lot. It’s a huge time-waster, it’s not fun or cushy and there is nothing more boring than heading for the sofa – again – when there are so many other more exciting things to do. I’m bored of being in the house so much while life continues elsewhere. I’m bored of boring my friends with the endless symptoms:

‘How you doing?’

‘Oh, you know. I dropped a mug this morning. I tripped over the cat. I went to sleep. I had a bit of a wobble. How’s you?’

‘Well, after I partied all night, I had a fabulous day at work before whipping up a dinner party for eight. The usual.’

Then there’s the boredom that comes with all the planning. MS is like a stroppy, badly-behaved toddler you have to lug around – for life. Before you go anywhere, you plan where the loos are, you work out if there’s a cafe nearby to stop for a break, you pack a bag of stuff, you can’t stay out too late.

When your world shrinks and spontaneity is something you have to seriously think about, there’s not an awful lot of options left. Friends tire of always being bailed out on. I’m out of synch with them, going through an accelerated old age in my 30’s. The highlight of my day is getting a pen and marking an asterisk next to interesting programmes in the Radio Times. Years ago when I saw someone do this, I was scornful. How tragic, such an empty life. I mean, who does that? Um, well, me now.

So how can I combat this boredom? What can I do from the comfort and safety of my couch? Wordsearch puzzles? Solitaire? Spray-paint the cat purple? Any suggestions gratefully received.

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Working from Home (Alone)

So, I get sacked from work for having MS and negotiate a two-month notice period working from home ┬áto get my finances in order and find a new job. In theory (forget the unfair dismissal and discrimination), it’s great. A bit of breathing space, a chance to get my head together and move on.

In reality, it’s hard. I miss the buzz of getting up and out the house, feeling like a valuable member of society. I miss my work wardrobe, even though it had shrunk to only black clothes in the last few months, reflecting the depression I was sinking into at work. And I miss packing a little lunch into my work bag. Hell, I even miss making coffee for the others in the office.

To shake things up a little, I decided to go to the local mega-supermarket to check out the end-of-aisle bargains. Exciting! I left the house early, pretending to be a commuter to work. Parked up, picked up a basket and started having a nosy around, ending up in the towel and shower curtain aisle by mistake. Seems the mega-superstore had been given a major refurb without consulting me and half the aisles were now diagonal, not straight. How to confuse an idiot, eh?

So I pick up some mushrooms, 2-for-1 pasta, a pack of reduced turkey mince and a value pack of toothbrushes – well worth leaving the house for. I get home, have a cup of coffee with the cat and sit down at my desk again. Right. Work like a demon for a couple of hours, check on Twitter, then it’s lunch. Sit down with the Loose Women. Then back to work. It’s a pretty lonely day. All my friends are in their proper jobs, the mummies in the cafes won’t talk to me (where can I borrow a baby from?) and the postman hasn’t time to stop for a chat.

I can’t wait to work with other people again. I will fling myself gratefully upon them, greeting them like long-lost friends. I will bring a box of donuts in every Friday. In the meantime though, it’s amazing what you can make from office supplies, isn’t it? To cheer myself up, I string paperclips together (festive), cut sticky smiley faces from post-it notes (funny) and make little monsters from mini-clips (strangely sad). I think it’s time I found myself a proper job…

 

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