I’d been allowed out the office (my laptop at home, Jeremy Kyle and coffee on tap) and let loose on one.
The steering wheel has a funny knobbly thing on it, so I happily swung it round and round, little realising the damage it would do to my arm and wrist.
Fast forward a couple of days and I’m in agony. I’ve sprained my right arm and I am once more off work. Getting to be a bit of a habit?
The Teenager has been pressed into service like never before – laundry, getting dishes out the oven, sweeping through the house. Much wailing and gnashing of teeth, ‘I am not your servant’ (stomp stomp) being a favourite retort, with me responding, ‘Oi! I can still flick the internet off with one finger, so ner, ner, ner, ner, ner.’
Anyway, I am moping around the house feeling rather sorry for myself. Who knew arms could be so useful? There is so much I just can’t do without reaching for the painkillers and ‘ooofing’ out loud. Shampooing my hair is farcical. Driving is off-limits and holding a book to read is deadly. I feel as if I’ve been snowed-in without the ‘yay, we’re in the middle of a national crisis!’ excitement that normally follows half an inch of the white stuff.
I took the bus into town yesterday to meet friends for a sushi lunch, and try as I might, I just can’t use chopsticks left-handed. So I gave it a go with my right, wincing, and I just about managed (I was hungry – 6 plates). I’ve bought myself a tubi-grip wotsit and it helps a little. I’ve weaned myself off the strong painkillers after I started dreaming whilst awake. In short, I am Fed Up.
The upside is, I have cleaned out the ‘whatever’ drawer, compiled an Amazon wish list, caught up with all my Scandi-crime programmes on my Sky Planner and got to grips (ha!) with my ‘iPad for Complete and Utter Idiots’ book. I am now semi-fluent in Danish and Swedish and have found my can opener. Plus I have a bunch of useless apps.
I had to text in sick this morning, something I hate doing. The boss responded, ‘no worries, we’re having a lovely fry-up in the cafe’. Meh. If the promise of that won’t get me back to work, nothing will. 5:2 diet be damned..