The spiel for the dating show applicants is: ‘Do you have a medical condition or physical disability that makes dating a challenge?’
Hmm. I have raised my head long enough from my family-sized tub of Ben & Jerry’s to have a definitive answer to this.
Not under that title anyway – ‘Too Ugly for Love’.
To be fair, yes, as is common with many other 41 year old women, I do pick over my ‘faults‘; they are as follows:
- In certain lights, my nose can appear a bit too large for my face – candlelight is good for this reason as I’ve never got round to learning the dark art of ‘contouring’ with 20 different shades of beige make-up.
- I am fat. No denying it, although I prefer ‘curvy’, ‘Rubenesque’ or simply, ‘womanly’/’feminine’, and with my height, I can carry it off. Honestly.
- I have a fairly small mouth, but I make up for it by being extremely gobby on any subject.
This probably doesn’t make me ugly, just normal. But chuck a diagnosis of MS into the equation – yes, it makes dating more difficult – but it certainly doesn’t make me ‘Ugly‘.
Ugly is such a cruel word, and definitely not a word I would ever equate with a disability. To this end, I consider myself ‘Beautiful Enough For Love’, my alternative title. A disability makes us:
- Open to life in a way we never thought possible – life is short and for the taking.
- We are non-judgemental – we know that every single person has a ‘disability’, whether it’s a personality ‘flaw’, a ‘disability’, a ‘mental health problem’. Labels are pointless and meaningless. We are who we are, warts and all.
- We have taken up the challenge of a lifelong illness and that makes us brave and wondrous.
All this adds up to why I chose not to take part in this programme. It is demeaning. It is not empowering – merely schadenfreude at its most despicable.
My life is interesting enough, and if the right person comes my way, I will date him without the cameras and exploitation.
And if not, there’s always a Saga holiday. I’m 9 years off qualifying …