How Ugly is ‘Too Ugly’?

orangeAs to be expected, I’ve been ruminating/crying about my recent experience of TV-land. (see previous blog post).

The spiel for the dating show applicants is: ‘Do you have a medical condition or physical disability that makes dating a challenge?’

Hmm. I have raised my head long enough from my family-sized tub of Ben & Jerry’s to have a definitive answer to this.


Not under that title anyway – ‘Too Ugly for Love’.

To be fair, yes, as is common with many other 41 year old women, I do pick over my  ‘faults‘; they are as follows:

  • In certain lights, my nose can appear a bit too large for my face – candlelight is good for this reason as I’ve never got round to learning the dark art of ‘contouring’ with 20 different shades of beige make-up.
  • I am fat. No denying it, although I prefer ‘curvy’, ‘Rubenesque’ or simply, ‘womanly’/’feminine’, and with my height, I can carry it off. Honestly.
  • I have a fairly small mouth, but I make up for it by being extremely gobby on any subject.

This probably doesn’t make me ugly, just normal. But chuck a diagnosis of MS into the equation – yes, it makes dating more difficult – but it certainly doesn’t make me ‘Ugly‘.

Ugly is such a cruel word, and definitely not a word I would ever equate with a disability. To this end, I consider myself ‘Beautiful Enough For Love’, my alternative title. A disability makes us:

  • Open to life in a way we never thought possible – life is short and for the taking.
  • We are non-judgemental – we know that every single person has a ‘disability’, whether it’s a personality ‘flaw’, a ‘disability’, a ‘mental health problem’. Labels are pointless and meaningless. We are who we are, warts and all.
  • We have taken up the challenge of a lifelong illness and that makes us brave and wondrous.

All this adds up to why I chose not to take part in this programme. It is demeaning. It is not empowering – merely schadenfreude at its most despicable.

My life is interesting enough, and if the right person comes my way, I will date him without the cameras and exploitation.

And if not, there’s always a Saga holiday. I’m 9 years off qualifying …

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4 thoughts on “How Ugly is ‘Too Ugly’?

  1. Monica says:

    I’ve just recently discovered your blog. Really enjoyed this tongue-in-cheek post. It’s hard enough being an over 40 single woman…then throw in MS…yikes!

  2. Judy Epstein says:

    I really like this post, especially contouring/minimizing with 20 different shades of beige! I’ve read that sort of thing in magazines and KNEW I never would. I don’t even wear make up except for the very ocassional lippy.

    You know that line in the movie Forrest Gump, “Clever (substitute beauty, etc.) is as clever does”.

    Everybody’s got something. They do!

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Yup, I’m puzzled by these magazine articles. If I even attempted to try it out, I’d look distinctly odd and people would probably worry about me even more 🙁

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