Forty Shades of Grey

over the hillHere’s a quick quiz – just how many signs of ageing are there? Five? Seven? Or, gulp, ten?

Step forward Rachel Weisz who was recently flogging ‘Revitalist Repair 10’, targeting 10 signs of ageing in one overpriced blob of cream. I’m obviously not at all jealous she’s married to Daniel Craig, but I was chuckling when I heard that her TV advert had been banned in the UK after the ‘shocking’ discovery that she was airbrushed for the advert.

So what are these doom-laden Signs of Ageing and who decides? As I approach the sad day when I will be forced to wear a humorous ‘Still Flirty at Forty!’ badge to a local restaurant where the chairs will be tied with ‘Over The Hill’ helium balloons, here’s my ten signs of ageing:

  1. My mum asks me what I want for this milestone birthday. Without missing a beat I answer ‘ a super-duper electric toothbrush’. What?!
  2. I never, ever sit on the floor, as I would need three strong children to help me up and would probably say ‘ooof’ a lot.
  3. I have a sudden, inexplicable urge to visit garden centres. Not only that, I enjoy a nice cup of tea and a slice of cake in the cafe afterwards.
  4. I read those ‘Innovation’ catalogues that fall out of the weekend newspapers from cover to cover. And make a list. 
  5. My colleague has a baby. He is young enough to be my son. Which means I am old enough to be a grandmother. 
  6. I own not one but two pairs of slippers. Comfy. 
  7. I talk to my plants. And they talk back. Honestly. 
  8. I no longer feel it’s appropriate to buy Rimmel make-up. Too….bright.
  9. I circle TV programmes I want to watch in the Radio Times with a special pen. Antiques Roadshow? Tick.
  10. I’m tempted to start listening to The Archers.

I could also say I forget things, I drop things and I have a special non-slip mat in the shower, but I’m blaming all that firmly on the MS. My plan? To age disgracefully, embarrass The Teenager and start investing in control underwear chic black cashmere jumpers, teamed with lots of large, colourful beads. And start calling everyone ‘daahhling’ as I can’t remember their names…

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8 thoughts on “Forty Shades of Grey

  1. Julie says:

    I don’t think that having a two way conversation with your plants means a problem with your age! Lol!
    I am 48 and just took delivery of a mobility scooter, or as my kids call it – granny scooter! And I am excited about it, I can now drag the kids round all the boring places they have got out of going to in the last couple of years.
    It’s even got a nice little pocket for my spare pack of Tena Lady. I am running out of things to look forward to when I am really old! On the upside at least I am young enough to enjoy whizzing around with the wind in my hair looking over my shoulder at the kids speed walking in my wake. 🙂
    Re #9 At Christmas I use a different coloured highlighter for each member of the family. 🙂
    Julie x

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Hi Julie!
      Very true about the plants, but really getting into the habit now!
      And love the idea of different coloured highlighters – must try that out this Christmas.
      Sometimes hard to work out what’s MS and what’s getting older, lol. Am easily confused! My big day is just over four weeks away and part of me can’t wait to get it over and done with. Roll on the fifth decade!!

  2. Samantha Thompson says:

    Watch out for being worryingly drawn to biscuit tins, especially ones from M&S!! You know what follows, keeping stuff in them. I have managed to avoid bringing tins into the house so far….
    Do you have a cupboard full of carrier bags? I have no idea why I need so many!!!
    Oh I also have the urge to take up Golf. My heavy arms wouldn’t stand for it though 😉

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Oh dear – I saved one from last Christmas! And very handy it is too,lol.
      Thankfully I have escaped the dreaded carrier bags – since we started being charged for them in Wales, I now carry at least two everywhere I go.
      Sadly, doctors do seem to look awfully young these days. Is it just me??

  3. Julie says:

    Giving your age as 40 something instead of 30 something is all that will be different. Don’t give it a thought.
    I have a friend of about 20 years or so, I guess she must be late 70’s now but no one knows. She has always refused to discuss her age because she doesn’t want to be pigeon holed by it. She would be the first to say it, but she is vain, although she is beautiful and fit and admired by us all. She says her age isn’t important it’s how she feels inside, which is true. I am afraid I take a slightly more arrogant view though, I don’t hide my age and nor do I care what anyone thinks about it.
    After each relapse I have felt like a very old person mentally with some cognitive issues which on the whole have improved greatly, but I am sure there aren’t some things that are age related, as you say though how do tell? I thought I was recovering quite nicely but last week I looked in my purse to see if I had received any text messages!! Mmm, ms or age?

    • stumbling in flats says:

      I’m with you on that one – I put my mobile in the fridge this morning instead of the milk. Oops. My relapses definitely messed with my brain, and the heat here today certainly isn’t helping!
      Funnily enough, I saw an interview about Johnny Depp yesterday (sigh) and he’s 50. 50!!!! So all is not lost I guess.
      A lot of people have said their 40s are way better than their 30s, so here’s hoping!

  4. Oops, sorry for the duplicate comment and thanks for deleting the ONE THAT REVEALS MY SUPER SECRET IDENTITY.

    Oh, dear. I think I could come up with a top 20 list of Signs I’m Aging. Shudder. Love your list!

    p.s. Are you really having a party w/ Flirty at Forty balloons?

  5. stumbling in flats says:

    You’re welcome! I’m sure my mum is organising it as I write, lol. I really, really don’t want to do anything. Perhaps a memorial service to my 30’s??

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