I used to be a real neat-freak, probably a hangover from my tiny 1-room box in London years ago, when the sofa was next to the cooker and I could switch the kettle on from my bed. I was there until I was 8 months pregnant and could clean the shower by simply rubbing soap on my stomach and turning round.
Up until a year ago I was still pretty much the same until jaw-dropping fatigue hit me like a demolition wrecking ball. Standards had to slide, but rather than becoming depressed, I just came up with some handy hints, which I am now passing on to you:
- Rip up your carpets and put down wooden flooring wherever possible, adding a few non-fluffy rugs if necessary. Majorly cuts down on dirt.
- Chuck out most of your knick-knacks and ornaments – dust traps.
- Use paper plates whenever you can. There’s some great designs now, don’t worry.
- Use make-up remover wipes, then when you’re brushing your teeth use wipe to quickly clean sink. A bit icky, but small gestures count.
- Fit dimmers to your lights and adjust accordingly – the less dust you see, the less it matters.
- Borrow a small child. Put a feather duster in one of their hands and a lollipop in the other. Make up a fun game, but check they dust with the right one.
- Invest in light-coloured furniture (IKEA, I salute you) – shows up way less dust.
- If you must invite friends round, wait til it’s dark and light candles. Lots of them. And make sure there’s wine. Nothing matters after a couple of glasses.
If questioned by worried, well-meaning friends about the shabby state of your house, gently explain you are channeling the vintage, boho-chic vibe. William Morris once said, ‘have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful’. So that covers me and The Teenager then.
And don’t forget, experts reckon a little dirt is good for your immune system, so don’t feel guilty – you’re actually looking after yourself…
