I woke up yesterday morning and felt strange. I had a shower, made coffee, put the cat out and still felt strange. I had….energy. How bizarre. Where did that come from?
After a couple of weeks of feeling punch-drunk with tiredness, this was altogether frightening as well as exhilarating. How long will it last? How many things can I cram into this window of opportunity?
I have to calm down and think straight. I rummaged round in the kitchen drawer and pulled out my list of ‘Things To Do When I’m Not Tired’.
I scanned through it. None of them will happen. I’m definitely not climbing a ladder to get the leaves out of the guttering. With my balance? And I won’t be painting the bedroom doors – what if I get hit with fatigue half-way through? The doors could remain semi-painted for weeks, months. So my revised tick-list is a little less ambitious. Cook dinners from scratch, vacuum through whole house (not just the bits I can see), sort out accounts, shred that pile of old paperwork and get rid of the cobwebs that have been tormenting me from the sofa.
The thing with MS fatigue is, when the door of energy opens, you have no idea whatsoever how long it will be before it slams shut again. A day? A week? My mind was buzzing. So many things to choose from. I could watch a complicated, subtitled film and actually follow it, I could attempt to cook a mushroom Wellington, I could dust off my Nordic ski poles and go walking.
I spent most of the day doing almost nothing, paralysed with indecision yet marveling at actually having energy and a clear head. I read half a book, as I had the energy to concentrate and not drift off. I wrote more lists of things I have to do. I caught up with my emails. I know I should have done a whole lot more, but I was just enjoying the sensation of being fully awake. The fact that I could do things if I chose to was enough for me. Being able to think straight without my head being full of cotton wool gave me a chance to get my head in order.
I have a busy week ahead. I’m hoping to keep the energy going and tick some more things off my list. Give me a break, eh, MS?
Rock and roll girl 🙂
i’m loving this whole having energy thing – but where do I start????? Maybe I need to have a sleep, just to refresh myself. Of course…
Go on e-bay buy stuff, go to sleep, MS will help you forget you bought it, but what a nice surprise when it turns up in the mail 🙂
That made me laugh! I love getting stuff in the post,lol. X
Conserve that energy and pace yourself. Don’t be doing too much in one go…and enjoy it while it lasts. I suffer fatigue too but not MS related and I hit a wall come mid afternoon and I have to rest up and sleep. So I can relate to the frustration when fatigue hits and before you know the day has gone and you haven’t be able to do a thing xx
Fatigue is ghastly, isn’t it? I hate the feeling of seeing the world float by without really taking that much part in it. Thank you for your comment!
I wake up feeling amazing sometimes. I’m so excited, my mind starts racing with all of these great ideas of the things I’m going to do and get started on and then …BAM! Not long after I’m up and moving around I’m reminded that it’s, me. My body. Then I’m almost always surprised. Then comes the disappointment, and then the sadness.
Thank you for your comment! I know exactly what you mean. I know this energy won’t last, it’s just a temporary blip and that’s hard to deal with sometimes. I keep trying to look on the bright side!