Category Archives: Blogging

May 12 2015
40 Comments
Blogging

A Reply To The Critics (Trolls)

trollOne of the downsides to going ‘public’ with my MS blog are the trolls.

I’ve always been reluctant to use my real name; not for some precious reason but simply because my mum has the same name and there’s not many of us Stenslands in the UK. It’s a Norwegian surname (thanks, Dad!).

The major criticism I’ve had is that my blog is facile and ridiculous.

Ok. This October, my blog will be three years old. I don’t know many blogs about MS that have lasted that long. My blog charts my ‘story’ from being sacked for having MS, through diagnosis, through finding a new job and all the emotional ups and downs an MS diagnosis brings.

I have also always refused adverts on my site, despite numerous requests. Fair play to other people who do that, but it’s not for me. I pay my own hosting fees (not a small amount) and I cover all my costs. My blog is pure and simple. And I hope my message reaches those who can take comfort from my own story.

Trolls are nothing new. If they had half a brain they could even be intelligent. I had a particularly nasty one on Twitter a while back. She spewed bile about me for some reason. What she could not have known, and probably wouldn’t have cared about, is that she aimed her attack during a particularly difficult period for me. Well. I hope she’s satisfied.

Anyway, trolls won’t stop me blogging the truth about MS. It’s not pretty, it’s often funny, it’s crap and it’s hysterical.

Tagged , , ,
Feb 18 2015
6 Comments
Blogging

Positively Confusing?

RubenesqueI have been fortunate enough to be interviewed recently about my book.

Half-way through, still being recorded, I asked, ‘Gah, am I sounding too positive about MS?’

A conundrum.

Rewind two years and the interviewer would have discovered me flat on the floor, holding up a wine glass, chomping on a family-sized bar of Dairy Milk. And no doubt crying. I was in a dark, shadowy and very different place.

How best to portray life with MS, almost three years after being diagnosed? I don’t want to be labelled a ‘survivor’, ‘a sufferer’ or to be hailed as ‘fighting back, despite all the odds (TM).’ I am just me, who has forged an entirely new and unexpected path through the maze that is MS. I’m still eating far too much chocolate, I’m still fat Rubenesque and I’m now officially over the hill at 41.

Is there such a thing as being positively ok with MS? Hmm. It depends.

If I’m honest, 90% of the time I think I am now used to the vile intruder that is MS. I love my home life, I love my work and I love being in Uni. Life is looking rosy and positive. It’s the other 10% that can be problematic, as anyone living with MS knows.

It’s the relentless fears, the creeping spectre of progression that haunts our darkest moments and I’m not immune to this.

But. In the meantime, as I said to the reporter, I have achieved a lot more since MS than I could ever have dreamed of. Being sacked unceremoniously from work simply for the crime of having MS was merely the start. Being bullied into submission by the very same colleagues, who just before diagnosis treated me with respect, ignited a passion to ‘live well with MS’.

So I am now living a life I love, in spite of MS. MS is with me every step of the way, excuse the pun, and it still continues to trip me up when I least expect it. The dark days are still with me and I doubt they will ever leave, but I am learning to live with them.

The article comes out tomorrow in the national newspaper of Wales. My only fear is the photograph. I am quite possibly the most un-photogenic person ever. The word ‘chubby’ springs to mind, as does ‘Paleo’, meh.

Tagged , , , ,
Feb 11 2015
42 Comments
Blogging

Published!

AmazonI’m so pleased to announce that my book is now published – a compilation of over two years of blog posts, edited and proofed down into one handy format. I’ve had an amazing amount of help along the way, not least from:

‘If Bridget Jones had MS, this would be her diary.‘ – The MS Society.

‘The value of the Stumbling in Flats blog … it opens so many avenues of support and understanding, not only to the sufferer, but to the family, the friends … so that they will understand what it’s like to walk through treacle.’ – Janis H. Winehouse.

‘Social media is an increasingly important way for people affected by MS to get support, information and inspiration. Barbara’s writing offers all of this plus a winning sense of humour – a vital ingredient in living well with MS.‘ – The MS Trust.

A very special thank you to Janis Winehouse who kindly wrote the foreword and to Paul Eustice, a supremely patient publisher who held my hand through the entire process (our hundreds of emails and phone calls bear testament to this).

The project has taken months of selecting, editing and proofing, and re-reading my entire blog from start to finish over fifty times has been a unique form of therapy. I’ve also re-read every single comment from you guys, on the blog and on Twitter,  and am so grateful for all your support throughout the good times and especially the bad. You’ve been with me every step of the way.

With that in mind, the book is in memory of the one person who couldn’t be there, my dad:

Dad2

My book is now available to buy in any country in which there is an Amazon – here’s the quick links for UK and America:

Amazon UK 

Amazon USA

So, a huge thank you to everyone who has helped shape my experience of coming to terms with MS. Here’s to the next two years!

Tagged , , , ,
Jan 27 2015
36 Comments
Blogging

Without You, None of This Would Be Possible

totesAt last, the editing is over and I’m almost ready to publish my book – a collection of blog posts from the past two years in one handy format.

I’ve learned a lot from this process:

  • I mention chocolate way more than I thought.
  • My spelling and grammar have been appalling at times.
  • I still say ‘totes amazeballs’.
  • My kettle-bell is still my doorstop.
  • The Teenager still refuses to have an up-to-date photograph taken, meh.

Apart from that, it’s been an emotional time – reading and sifting through everything I’ve written, deciding what to keep and what to leave out (my cat’s not that interesting). I’ve cringed, but I think (hope) it’s the honesty that keeps it real.

However, one thing is more important than anything – a blog is only as good as the readers, you guys. You have been incredible. You’ve lifted me up through my darkest moments and laughed along with me through the good times. You helped me through my blip when I (briefly) stopped blogging. Your comments have been inspiring and thought-provoking. In short, without you, none of this would be possible.

So a totes huge thank you to everyone who  has supported me and my blog.

Bxxx

p.s. anyone know how I can lose two stone before publication?

Tagged , , , ,
Jan 13 2015
8 Comments
Blogging

Lost In Time

PaleoI’ve been thinking about turning my blog into a book for a while now – pulling together a series of posts into a (hopefully) coherent diary. My aim is to help other people see that, despite MS,  life goes on.

What could be simpler? I have two years of blog posts and there’s a plot. Plus The Teenager has a starring role.

Well, who knew the whole process could be quite so emotionally draining? I’ve read every single word of my blog. I’ve laughed, I’ve cringed, I’ve cried.

To go through the whole ‘journey’ again has been hard, but rewarding. It’s great to see how far I’ve come, but it’s upsetting to see what I had to go through to get here.

But isn’t that the same for all of us, when we look back? We thought we’d never get through it, but somehow, we do. Life is very different, but often in positive ways, not just the negative. Although I am now acutely aware just how much I talk about chocolate. And cake. And bacon butties.

Anyway, I have whittled down the blog posts by around 60% (I also talked about my cat far more than I should have). Easier than it sounds, as I had to still keep the thread going so people don’t read it and think, ‘huh? Why is she suddenly driving around on a mini-digger?’

So, I am in the middle of proof-reading (very, very embarrassing – my grammar is often appalling) and cover-designing. And writing an author bio without sounding pretentious (moi?). I also have to write an introduction, choose a price, choose layout, page size, photograph, etc. And all before Uni starts back next Wednesday, when I will once again be drowning in a sea of books I haven’t read beyond the back covers.

In a bid to super-charge my life through this period, I have been flirting with the Paleo diet, after so many people recommended it for MS. I thought it was the answer to everything – an eating plan focusing on meat, vegetables and fruit. Visions of Kentucky Fried Chicken boxes with fries popped up in my mind, as did apple cake. And my beloved bacon butties. The books I had eagerly ordered from the local library soon put paid to that idea.

As I write and ponder upon my book introduction, I am munching on a chicken drumstick, skin removed, no batter. For dinner, I am having grilled salmon with mushrooms and spinach. I’m easing myself in gently though (the book says 80% for newbie-Paleo-fatties like me), so my 20% will be a handful of After Eights, left over from Christmas….

Tagged , , , , , ,
← Older posts
Newer posts →