Stumbling in Flats

Now, this is strange.

Since MS, I’m quite used to falling asleep at the drop of a hat, dozing off mid-conversation and eyeing up anything remotely comfortable – in any location – as a possible bed.

If I’m in a home-furnishings shop I’ll prod and pummel cushions, checking for sleep-ability. Too small, too hard, too soft. Too … not right.

But until now, I’ve never fallen asleep sitting up.

It’s a recent development and quite bizarre. The first time it happened, I was flicking through How to Write a Killer Novel in Ten Days, studiously highlighting important points (I may as well have highlighted the entire book).

Suddenly, my eyes went ‘all googly’ (technical term). They rolled around my head. I fought back, urging myself to wake up. The googly eyes continued and I dozed off, but was still able to hear everything around me. Very odd and ever so slightly terrifying.

I knew I was aware of my surroundings as I could hear The Teenager thundering down the stairs and snapping his fingers in front of my face, yelling, ‘Aaaaaand, you’re back in the room. Can I have some toast?’

It was exactly like being hypnotised, but being hypnotised for no good reason, such as creating an aversion to crisps or having an inexplicable hatred of Kinder chocolate.

The second time it happened was last night. I was watching a very interesting programme on catch-up and was just getting to the good-bit, the unveiling of the villain, when, blam, googly-eyes started up again. I shook my head, snapped it back. To no avail. Boom, I was out for the count.

I was only revived when The Teenager shook my shoulder and told me it was past my bedtime and there was no milk in the house. Unfortunately, the side-effect of googly-eyes is a complete inability to walk in a straight line, such is the strength of the induced sleep. So I staggered around the kitchen and living room, turning off lights, replenishing the cat’s crunchy food bowl, filling the kettle, then weaved my way to bed, bidding goodnight to The Teenager and his seventeen school friends who were playing online with him.

I lay in bed, pondering this new symptom. I told myself to stay calm. It could pass. It may not. So, I can sleep anywhere if I lie down and now if I sit up.

What happens if I can sleep standing up?