Everything’s Coming Up Roses…

everything's coming up rosesI’ve been feeling oddly laid back about my recent accident, and it’s not all down to the painkillers. Or chocolate.

Like a lot of people I’ve spoken to over the last few years, coping with something life-changing such as MS puts things into perspective. Life is constantly throwing up obstacles and no one ever said it’d be easy.

But isn’t that the point? We expect things to tick along nicely – ¬†the fulfilling job, the blessed marriage, the nice house, the well-behaved kids – and in striving to achieve all that security, we bring the stress into our lives. When things go wrong, we can’t cope.

I read an article the other day about the American philosopher Alan Watts, who wrote ‘The Wisdom of Insecurity’, a radical approach to dealing with anxiety. He writes that in uncertain times, we respond by chasing after security in order to make the worry disappear, but the struggle to feel secure is the very thing that causes anxiety.

He puts the case that life is inherently insecure and the only way not to feel insecure is to dive straight into reality, with all its uncertainties.

Blimey. Mind-bending stuff for my MS brain, but I think without realising it, it’s the way I live now. I have struggled over the last decade to create security for me and The Teenager and it’s been a daily uphill slog. My anxiety levels have shot through the roof at times. And then one beautiful, sunny day, MS crashed into my life and smashed it to smithereens, unveiling the stark reality that there was in fact no security in my life at all.

So, post MS-devastation, I have handled this ¬†unexpected accident pretty well. It happened. It’s grim. But there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it and raging about how this has yet again brought chaos and uncertainty to my life won’t do me any good. Life is never secure and anyone living with MS knows that, so why not turn it to our advantage?

Forget the roses, I’m just like bamboo now – I sway with the wind but I won’t break.

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6 thoughts on “Everything’s Coming Up Roses…

  1. Becky says:

    I so agree! Before MS I would hear comments like “live like your dying” etc and I would think those people were irresponsible. Now I get it. I recently told a friend that since this MS thing I have decided that when I feel well I am doing what I want and spending money if I feel like it. I can’t always be saving up for the perfect time anymore because you never know what will happen and if that perfect time will ever come. SH ehas also been taking my advice and living for the day and not making decisions soley on what it will be like when she is 65 years old. If there is any bright spot in MS this may be one! Live for the day, don’t worry about tomorrow as you never know what it will bring!

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Hi Becky,
      What a lovely comment!
      I guess if we can take anything good from MS, it’s definitely ‘living in the moment’. Keep nothing for best as my elderly friend says, lol.
      As you say, there is never a perfect time and if we spend our lives waiting for it, we’ll be disappointed!
      Carpe diem!

  2. Estizer says:

    One of the best gifts that MS has given me is an understanding that stress is awful, and I can minimize it with several different techniques. It’s awful for everyone and that’s the advantage of my MS, I’ve been backed into a corner where I’ve HAD to learn many coping skills. That’s ALL thanks to my MS:)

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Hi there!
      That’s very true – for most of us, stress just makes the MS worse anyway, so we need to find ways to minimise it,and if we can thank MS for that, then it’s all good!

  3. “He puts the case that life is inherently insecure and the only way not to feel insecure is to dive straight into reality, with all its uncertainties.”

    That just made my brain hurt, so I think I must go eat something and have more coffee before I’ll fully get it!

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Tell me about it! Am still trying to get my head round that one. I KNOW he makes sense, just trying to work out how, lol. I kind of stop after the first six words….
      But I’m getting there…

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