Parallel Lives, Sliding Doors

appleEver wondered what your non-MS life would look like?

I have. Frequently.

On that fateful day in 2011, when I woke up into a nightmare, I often imagine how it would be if it were just another Saturday.

I would schlep around a flea market, buy some artisan bread, laze around on my sofa like there was no tomorrow.

  • I would still be a trusted member of the team in my workplace. The very idea of being sacked for having an illness such as MS (when we, as a company, prided ourselves on, ‘allowing our customers to reside at home as long as possible, with a little care‘) would have seemed like a bad dream.
  • I would still be in a relationship.
  • I would still be an active parent.
  • I would still be awake at normal hours.
  • I would still cook everything from scratch.
  • I would still have a fully-functioning brain.
  • In short, I would be trucking along, just as always.

Instead, I woke up into a beautiful, cloudless day when all that was missing was my power of speech and my balance.

There were no warning signs, nothing unusual, although I was a lot more tired over the previous six months. But that was all it took – a massive, life-changing relapse and everything had altered.

I lost my job, my partner, the trust of my child and my future.

But what did I gain?

Well, when I look back, I would still be in a soul-destroying job, still in a dead-end relationship and still be oblivious to the wonders all around me. Ok, so my brain might not work properly, but what’s writing creatively without a little struggle?

I gained a new direction and a new purpose.

Not all to do with MS – like a lot of you guys, it could have been any life-changing illness. It just makes you wake up, take stock and steer your life in a whole new way.

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10 thoughts on “Parallel Lives, Sliding Doors

  1. MStrooper08 says:

    I have often wondered the same thing about my own life. IDK what might have been, but I’m very grateful to be where I am. Crappy as it may be sometimes, I love my life as it is! Thanks for sharing your story BC I think we, as MSers, all feel that way but don’t want to talk about it so we feel alone in it. I’m glad I’m not alone on this one.

  2. Robyn Burnett says:

    Yes! I sometimes wonder the same but not as often as I used to. I’ve had some amazing things happen because of MS. As one door closes another one opens. And doors closed, they were slammed shut. But other unexplored, unexpected doors opened.

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Excellent point. MS really does take us in unexpected directions!
      I think my life is a lot better now, mostly because I appreciate everything so much more.

  3. SMart Choice says:

    I lingered a bit on the ending phrase. MS does give you a real kick in the rear end and wakes you up to your full potential.

    I shoul know! If MS didn’t creep into my life, SMart Choice would not have existed. So I count my blessings. Tomorrow it will be a year since my first neurologic episode. Yay me? :))

    Lots of health and God bless!

    • stumbling in flats says:

      It sure does! It’s something of a wake-up call to what’s really important in life. And what isn’t, lol.

  4. tony cardis says:

    My answer is no, I had my life planned out and MS stopped it completely.
    But I’m going in such a different direction that I don’t look back as I’m enjoying going forward. I find I do a lot more thinking and planning about doing stuff that I learn to take every advantage and have fun 🙂

    • stumbling in flats says:

      I love this comment!
      My life pretty much took a whole new direction too, and what with my career being dead in the water with little hope of revival, I’ve turned instead to doing something I’ve always wanted to. So I guess I’m pretty lucky in the grand scheme of things.

  5. Jonny says:

    MS has me and that’s it FINISHED…..or so I thought. A lot of fear, panic and other stuff happened, to me, when I was diagnosed
    illness does give one another perspective on things, not least one’s self!
    I guess I’m having to eat my words now, when I said to my daughter ‘you think you’re the centre of the universe!’ Teenagers!



    • stumbling in flats says:

      Yup. Mine turns 16 soon, and he very definitely is the centre of the universe. And then some, lol.

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