Give and Take

backflipIf I could do backflips and turn cartwheels, I would.

For the first time in over four years, I have zero nerve pain in my legs. It’s nothing short of a miracle.

Yesterday, after consultation with my MS nurse and GP, I doubled my dose of Pregabalin. Within hours my legs felt, well, normal. I prodded them, stood up, sat down, walked across the room.

Ah. Of course. As with anything MS-related, it gives with one hand and takes with the other. Sure, I could feel my legs, but my balance was shot. I staggered around the kitchen, unaware The Teenager had snuck up behind me for a fridge-rummage.

‘Wha’s up with you, muv?’

‘S’alrigh’. Meds. Strange.’

‘You’re talking funny.’


‘Can I have a tenner for the cinema tomorrow?’

‘Erm, yesh.’

I was slurring my words. My head was spinning and I felt drugged. The Teenager found the last yoghurt I’d been hiding behind the jam and wandered off, tutting.

I flopped onto the sofa, polished off the chocolate Buttons and tried to think. Pregabalin is also prescribed for Generalised Anxiety Disorder as well as neuropathic pain, so I guess that’s where the drugged, cotton-wool-brain feeling came from. It can also affect balance and speech. Excellent.

I weighed up the pros and cons. The nerve pain is manageable during the day, excruciating at night. I’ve spent hours whimpering on the sofa in agony, unable to concentrate on anything. Whole evenings have been wasted. Could I swap this for a spaced-out feeling? Would I trip more than usual?

I’m going to give it a go.

The pain in my legs has defined my life too much and is a constant MS-memento. Unfortunately I still have the numbness in my feet, so the foot-drop is here to stay and sometimes I can’t feel my feet at all, although the pavements are there to remind me as I trip over yet again.

So for now, I will ricochet around the house, falling over the rugs and the cat, but I won’t mind so much as my head will be floating around somewhere else. I haven’t been outside yet – I’m about to get ready to take The Teenager to town for lunch.

Should be interesting?

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4 thoughts on “Give and Take

  1. Patrick Buekw says:

    I really do feel for you. Pain in the legs is worse than a pain in the arse. Screaming or grin and bare are not solutions either. Feeling stoned is a total waste of time. My recollection of being stoned is 40 years out of date, I successfully wasted my time at University achieving very little but I did enjoy it or at least I think I did.

    Don’t know what to say. There must be something in the fridge that you can chew on. Hope lunch went OK


    • stumbling in flats says:

      Lunch was surprisingly good! I managed to walk in a straight-ish line anyway, lol.
      Day two of the meds and I’m going to see how it goes. Spaced out is not brilliant. But neither is the nerve pain?

  2. Judy Epstein says:

    Did your docs have any words of wisdom about the doubled med they suggested? You take care and be mindful of what your feet are doing. I’m sure you are, but am saying it to encourage you. Glad to hear lunch was a success! MS is so weird with its different individual symptoms. xxoo

    • stumbling in flats says:

      They did say I could have side effects, along with the benefits! It’s been amazing, nerve-pain wise. The floaty head and body are another matter, but seriously, it’s wonderful to have no nerve pain in my legs.
      Yup, we had a really nice day in town, shopping and having lunch together. Always good to have some mum and son time 🙂

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