I Like Long Walks On The Beach …

me… I also enjoy cosy nights in front of a log fire, watching a romantic dvd and snuggling up with the one I love, the snoogly-woogly peep.

Don’t we all?

Especially when we’re writing dating profiles. Is there anything worse?

My first attempt was at least honest:

Slightly, chubby, divorced 42 year old with stroppy Teenager and confused cat seeks soul mate. P.S. I have MS. Apply within.’

I didn’t post it.

Now I am of a certain age, and have been single since being brutally dumped when I was first diagnosed with MS, I think it would be kind of nice to have a Significant Other.

Someone to share a croissant and hot chocolate with? Maybe we could browse around a second-hand book store before linking hands and wandering to the nearest cafe. We would navigate the cobble-stones and laugh when I tripped. Again. We would exchange smug, knowing looks.

He would Understand. He would smile at my speech hiccups, when I swap consonants and slur (just a little). My Scottish accent would of course win him over. He would take my arm and guide me when he saw that I was weaving around like crazy.

I can picture him, rugged face, scarf (I know, weird, huh?), piercing eyes. If you find him, please let me know.

Back in the real world, I have read all the advice. First and most importantly, the majority of people meet the love of their lives in work. Last Thursday I was surrounded by nine men. I was quite overwhelmed at one point and had to take a Diet Coke break.

However. Four were scaffolders (all married), three were solar panel electricians (all married, one unhappily), two were plumbers (both married).

So that’s a no-go then.

Next piece of advice is, ‘talk and interact with everyone you meet, they may just surprise you!’

Erm, ok.

I went to the Co-Op and lurked around the steaks. Aha. A man. ‘Um, garlic butter or just, you know, butter?’ I asked, with an artfully-raised eyebrow. He scarpered. I was the strange person in the steak place. It’s come to this.

I slunk home, defeated.

I re-wrote my profile: ’42 (but don’t look it), divorced (happily), one Teenager and no cats. MS. Apply within.

So far, zero replies. But you never know?

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10 thoughts on “I Like Long Walks On The Beach …

  1. Teresa McTernan says:

    Just say…I met my husband online 12 years ago. Took loads of risks, invited him to Ireland for weekend (not advising this I hasten to add!!!) We had an ok weekend, next step was me going to his for weekend…then a holiday in Gozo – my favourite place in the world. Then I moved to uk and have been here since. We got married in Las Vegas 5 years ago. I didn’t mention MS in my ‘profile’. I did tell him on our first ‘date’ and he didn’t really blink an eyelid and he’s been such an amazing support now my MS is a lot worse. Not all men will run for the hills when they hear such news. We’re going to live in West of Ireland in April of next year!!! I was 41 when I met him. You are a strong independent woman, I think if you were to meet anyone he would be impressed with how you’re dealing with having MS and would fall in love with your positivity, your soh, your intelligence and a whole lot more than that I’m sure. If he doesn’t then he’s an oaf!! MS does not define you completely…

    • stumbling in flats says:

      What an amazing comment, thank you SO much!
      And such a lovely real-life story. You’re totally giving me hope that all is not lost just yet.
      Wishing you both all the best and a wonderfully happy life together.

  2. Laura Lane says:

    I met my soul mate at work, straight out from a bad divorce. I was diagnosed 10 months later and actually said to him ‘I don’t want you to stay just because you feel sorry for me, I’ll be gutted but understand if you choose to walk away. Been together 15 years, married for 5. He is my best friend, my support, my everything. And I believe your soul mate is out there, you’ve just not met him yet. He’ll love you for you, not because you have ‘S but because you are a wonderful person. Hang in there!

  3. allison whymark says:

    I met my husband in the local co-op. in 1989. We married in 1992 and we have been happily married since even with my ms dx in 2007. Don’t give up hope I found my in the toilet roll aisle very romantic!

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Ah, that’s the secret! I was definitely hanging out in the wrong aisle!!
      It’s so lovely to hear such positive stories, totally inspirational!

  4. Jonny says:

    Good afternoon,

    Did you refer to a log FIRE. WELL! I lit the fire the other night and, just about made it to bed, drained of energy, unsteady..it wasn’t good. Maybe one of those log fires they show on TV in New York would be alright…someone even throws a log on!
    Not to sure about the verse…’Chill December brings the Sleet, blazing fire and Christmas Treat’..

    • stumbling in flats says:

      That is a most fabulous idea!! You can buy dvds of log fires?
      Apparently you can also buy a Norwegian dvd of someone knitting. I kid you not 🙂

  5. Sue Wanklin says:

    I have been married for 40+years and we were so happy together until this damned MS arrived but its being a real nightmare (The MS and marriage ). Sometimes your better off on your own

    • stumbling in flats says:

      I’m so sorry to hear this and I hope you can both work things out?
      I do understand what you mean about being better off on your own – in a weird way, I found adapting to my diagnosis without having another adult to think about and take in to consideration. It was hard enough going through it with The Teenager.
      A lot of my MS friends have lost partners along the way because of MS, but also some have found new partners who accept them warts and all. I really hope I will find someone eventually …

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