Someone asked me the other day how I get The Teenager up for school.
Easy, I said, just unplug the Wi-fi.
Sit down and wait for the piercing scream of abject agony.
It works – try it.
Anyway, as I’ve been jotting down my Master’s dissertation by hand these last few weeks, The Teenager has been streets ahead of me, organising his A Level files at the stroke of a button.
He laughs at my hand-drawn mind-maps. He chortles when he sees my scribbles, turning his ipad towards me, shining with beautiful study notes.
I take off my fingerless gloves and turn the heating on. I gently explain to him that Great Art involves Great Suffering. I am trying to channel words and images into a superb piece of writing. I could in fact be The Next Great Novelist, given half the chance.
Until I’m rudely interrupted:
‘Muuuuuuuuum. Mum. Mum. What was it like BI?’
‘Wha?’
‘D’uh. Like. Before. Internet?’ Where you deprived? Did you feel, like, sad?’
‘Ah. No. We went to a place called A Library and looked up an Encyclopedia. That’s a book.’
‘Sad,’
‘Not really.’
‘You mean, if you wanted to find something out, you had to, like, order a book? Really?’
‘Well. Yeah.’
‘Oh M’God. ‘
I am a dinosaur. The Teenager cannot comprehend a life without facts at his fingertips. I could be impressed, chuffed even. Until he sends me bizarre links of what is trending on Twitter.
Take yesterday. The Teenager should have been researching British Politics. Instead, I had a breathless text, ‘ya seen Twitter?’
‘Not yet, have you cleaned your bedroom?’
‘So funny, have you seen, OMG, hysterical.’
‘What?’
‘DamnDaniel.’
‘Oh really? A kid?’
‘S’fun, s’like real.’
I worry.
Twitter in Brussels was alive tonight with the Range Rover which had driven into the underground tram tunnels and travelling through 3 stations before it got stuck. I found out because the tram I was on couldn’t go into the tunnel. Not sur which was funnier my husband standing tweeting this on his phone or the tram driver.
Crazy, isn’t it??
I’ve watched the DamnDaniel tweet several times and still can’t work out how on earth it’s gone viral!
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tell him to be glad dial up is mostly dead. kids will never here the screeching noise lol :p and having to disconnect so someone could make a phone call ;p
So true!
I remember the days trying to get through to a friend on the phone, then realising they must be on the internet, lol.
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I remember you sometimes recorded computer programmes from BBC radio then loaded that into you’re ZX Spectrum.
No need for this internet or wires… although it did take around 10 minutes to load a programme the size of a 1 page Word document.
True! And I’m old enough to remember a ZX Spectrum lol!
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