Like, Really?

stupid high heelsBless her diamond-encrusted heart. Shortly before her £7 million wedding, Tamara Ecclestone was sent five pairs of designer flat shoes by InStyle magazine – totaling £2040 – and ‘challenged’ (yes, they used that verb) to hang up her heels and spend a week in flats. Like, OMG.

Tamara informs us that she has hundreds of pairs of heels. Well, of course. She confesses that when the box of flats arrived, ‘I was worried; to be honest, my heart sank…they kind of offend me.’ Flat shoes offend her? Oh, to face Tamara’s totes tragic challenges.

But for the sake of the article and no doubt the hefty fee and the chance to promote her new beauty line available exclusively at Harvey Nichols, she bravely found a pair she could tolerate and went to dinner. Sadly, she ‘felt really unglamorous and I think people were probably shocked to see me not in heels.’ Tamara lasted just two days, claiming ‘the shoes didn’t make me feel good…I’m definitely not going to buy any.’  Ok then.

Sharing the same article, I was expecting more of Dawn O’Porter, the TV presenter and author who was flogging her new book, yours for only £7.99. However, she went to a business meeting in flats ‘looking like an embarrassing auntie. I felt ridiculous. The meeting didn’t go well.’ Because of a pair of flats?! What planet, etc, etc.

She rose to the challenge though, and soldiered on, despite cheating by wearing a pair of Marc Jacobs heels on a night out with her husband. The next day she had dinner with her girlfriends, in, gasp, a pair of flats, and splutters, ‘I felt like Nora Batty.’ One of her friends gleefully told her she looked like her gran.

What can we possibly take away from this insightful piece of investigative journalism? That wearing flats somehow morphs previously vibrant personalities into embarrassing aunties, grans or Nora Batty? Do these outgoing women really need a pair of heels to feel normal? I fear their psyches are more fragile than they would have us believe.

Anyway, before you chuck the flats in the bin, girls, send them my way. I’m a proud member of the Flat Shoe Club (TM) and we didn’t really want you as members anyway. So there. I’m also proud to be an embarrassing auntie and am more than happy to be stumbling in flats….

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16 thoughts on “Like, Really?

  1. From the boss says:

    The next meal is on you. You must of
    Got paid loads for advertising all those company’s and prices. 🙂

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Thanks for the comment, boss!!
      Sadly, I received no payment for this article, meh. Although if any fashion houses out there would like to pay me to review their flat shoes, feel free to contact me! I am also open to free trips, make up, etc.
      p.s. I will be calling in sick to work later on this week. Just to let you know 😉

  2. Julie says:

    As a mother of a 12 year old daughter these stories fill me with dread! Having said that, I like to think that my kids know the difference between the real world and the fake and shallow world of celebrity. What makes it difficult for us parents though is the way the media presents all this tripe as if it is ‘normal’.
    BTW, how is your leg? I hope you are stumbling less painfully. 🙂

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Hi Julie,
      It’s pretty worrying. My son’s the same, constantly comparing his body to what he sees in ‘celebrity’ magazines at school. I mean, he’s only 13!
      The leg is still surprisingly painful! Taking it’s time going down. My GP was impressed with the size of the haematoma, lol. Just happy it wasn’t fractured!
      Hope you’re good?

  3. Sally says:

    It’s a hard life all right. Did she hand them back then. Bet not! Flat shoes are a nightmare for me. Too flat, my knees get very sore. Little itsy bitsy wedge, wobble too much. By the time I find the right pair I have just gone sod it and gone back to the pretty heeled heel at the door that will be destined to join the other relic shoes from my previous life under the bed. Did find a marvellous pair couple of weeks ago in a ‘fashion forward’ shade of ‘racy red’. Very comfy , thick padded sole and insole, very light, not TOO zensible. Was moderately pleased until I glanced up and caught the eye of the Commander of the Blue Rinse Brigade sitting opposite trying on the same shoes (in beige though, nowhere near as cool as my raucous red – it’s an age thing). We then acknowledged each other and the fact that the shoes were indeed very comfortable and practical ( not too flat, sore knees same as me etc). Ah yes, the Germans do indeed make fine quality shoes. My casual chit chat French is second to none. 🙂 have to be honest she was much happier seeing me in the same shoes as her than vice versa. Still bought them though. And yes they do look quite cool ( in a practical way)

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Hi Sally,
      I’m sure they just chucked them away, meh.
      I must admit, I don’t really like wearing flats. They’re just too, well, flat. My calf muscles end up going into spasm (nice!) and my legs ache at the end of the day. Plus the neuro tingling in my feet.
      I’ve tried a mini-heel, but no good. Whenever I go out, I sigh and watch all the girls tottering past in their heels. I miss them!
      Your ‘racy red’ shoes sound pretty nifty. Just a shame about the Blue Rinser, lol.
      I am on an eternal quest. I’ve heard that French Sole do some nice pairs, so may ask for some for my birthday…

  4. Emma says:

    I’m a member of the Flat Shoe Club and proud! Only have a couple of shoes with very small heels and I only wear them for special events. Not due to my MS, but only because I don’t want to put myself through the pain of heels.
    Ballet flats look very chic with a trench and what about sparkly summer sandals? Gorgeous! Plus in many years to come us flatties most likely won’t have issues with our feet and/or back that possibly may affect ladies who wear heels most of the time. Flatties all the way!

    • stumbling in flats says:

      You’re right – ballets are adorable with a trench! Very French. Plus, the money I save on heels can be spent on a designer handbag. Result!
      Must dig out my trench coat, thank you for reminding me!! Add a stripy Breton top and it’s a winner for me. Just wouldn’t look right with heels??

  5. Samantha Thompson says:

    I love flats!

    It’s a well known fact that heels are bad for your posture, muscles and what they can do to your feet doesn’t look good, so they can keep them!!

    I’m not adding to my problems just for fashion and I don’t look like an aunt, gran or anything else!!
    What planet are some women on??

    Have you worn your lovely blue flats that were made for you? I didn’t comment on that post but they were fab!

    Sam xx

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Hey Sam!
      I am waiting for an MS Trust event I can attend, meh. Was tempted to wear them to an MS Society event a week ago but wasn’t sure it’d go down to well, lol. They are right next to my desk, waiting for the right event!
      I will keep on trucking with my flats. And wellies. Totes cool, n’est pas?? Plus I won’t get bunions!

  6. don’t like flats, not because they are unglamorous but because i just dont feel like my foot/ankle is supported in them. hiking boots/sandals for me :p i’m not a shoe person, if it fits and isnt horribly expensive, that is all i care about :p

    i dont know who this Tamara is, but she sounds like idiot. offended by flats? *shakes head*

    • stumbling in flats says:

      She’s one of Bernie Ecclestone’s daughters – the formula one guy. Very rich socialite with a very small understanding of the real world.
      Strange word to use about flats – ‘offended’!! How can anyone be offended by flats? I know what you mean about little support though. I like the Footglove ones in M&S (God, I’m getting old) as they have a fair bit of support.
      An incredibly stoopid article, methinks.

  7. I am stunned. Stunned that these poor women have had to suffer so, and that you’re making FUN of them. Have you no empathy?

    Okay, not really. What clowns. Am particularly stung by the gran bit. I have some flats that my sister said made me look like our erstwhile Grandma Dorothy. I think they’re quite cute. Anyway…

    Bless him, my husband is about my height, so between that and the MS, I have a lovely excuse for embracing flats!

    • stumbling in flats says:

      isn’t it shocking in this day and age that we rail against flatism?? Just wish they would have sent me their cast-offs. Mind you I’m a size seven and I’m sure they’ve got teeny weeny ickle feet, meh.
      I am going to find a sparkly pair of flats for my birthday. And some stripy tights to wear with them.

  8. Sally says:

    My problem with ballets is that my legs look like tree trunks when I wear them with a skirt. I have no issue with my legs ( apart from the bruises) but flats really do them no favours. 🙂

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Never thought of that Sally! Mind you, I haven’t worn a skirt in donkeys years.
      Plus my legs are constantly covered in bruises too. Not the best look and I really, really can’t be doing with the whole fake tan thing. Just looks a bit, fake??

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