Packet In…

bang head hereWhat do Maltesers, Felix Crispies Cat Treats and Wotsits all have in common?

Nope, I don’t actually eat them all, honest; it’s the fact that I can’t open any of them without using Awfully Bad Language.

I first noticed this disturbing turn of events when I had settled myself on the sofa one evening with a good book and a pack of Maltesers.

Fumble, fumble. Use teeth. Grrrr. The ‘easy-tear’ opening remained unimpressed by my heroic efforts to free the chocolates nestled within and stayed stubbornly sealed.

Totally unfair. I got a bit upset before I stumbled into the kitchen and found a pair of scissors. But it’s not the point really.

‘Easy-tear’ should mean exactly that.

Just as I was coming to terms with this change of circumstance, shampoo bottles started ganging up against me. Ok, so they may not label themselves ‘Easy Squeeze’ like Mayonnaise does but you’d think it would be fairly simple to squish out  a blob of shampoo. Not a bit. Some of my bottles actively discourage me from doing this so I end up using The Teenagers’s all-in-one Body/Hair/Brain wash. My own bottles are just so darned hard to squeeze. Must be all the fancy packaging and promises. No wonder my hair is like a bonkers haystack.

I don’t think I’m asking for much. I only want to be that woman in the adverts who effortlessly opens sublime chocolates, beautifully eases out a perfect round blob of shampoo and can open a microwavable bacon buttie without weeping. But then, she has a size 2 figure and amazing hair, so I don’t really get off the starting block. Meh.

My hands just don’t work the way they used to, much like the rest of me. So perhaps I could decant stuff to make it easier and always, always have a pair of scissors handy. But then I would have to furtively snip the tops of packets when out in public. Bit weird. When did you last see someone in a pub open a shared packet of Scampi Fries with scissors? And would you want to sit next to them?

Me neither. So my quest for easy-open packets and bottles continues. We’re running out of Lynx and I’ve resorted to Kinder Eggs. Mind you, the toys these days are fabulous.

Is it me?

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4 thoughts on “Packet In…

  1. Angela says:

    Ah my hands drive me mad too! What makes me so cross is the amount of extra work they cause me when I am so low on energy already! I sometimes wonder if the fatigue is just just due to the 27 times I have to attempt each task! Anyway, I’m always looking for a solution so I’ve switched to pump bottles of shampoo/shower gel, round screw top tubs of moisturiser and as for the scissor/packet/in public conundrum…I leave the scissors at home but ask for help with the excuse “I’ve just put on hand cream…could you help me open this packet please!” Is working so far!

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Yup, it’s so darned pesky. I am in the middle of switching between shampoo bottles, lol.
      As for crisps, it remains a question of, ‘can I ask that bloke to open them for me??’

  2. yeah I have the same problem, its a pain in the butt :/ but…I’m an art student so people don’t find it odd when I wip out a pair a scissors to open something lol

    I don’t worry about MS a lot, but will admit I do worry that my hands will get to the point I can’t draw but.. I figure I will just take up painting and paint like my uncle did. He was paralyzed from the neck down but still managed to paint with a brush attached to his head with a band, so there is always a way to create 🙂

    I wonder if they make any tools/gadgets to help get stuff out of bottles, there must be somewhere, there is for everything else

    • stumbling in flats says:

      That’s amazing!! Brilliant how some people just get on with stuff despite the difficulties. Very inspiring.
      Interesting about a gadget for bottles. Must look in to it. I just end up throwing the bottle around the shower, then tripping over it and cursing some more. Meh. I basically need some kind of extra-strong hand thing, like a vice or something!

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