Right Here, Right Now

I am stressed. And if you follow this blog, you probably already know that. There’s far too much going on, and my brain is in risk of imploding.

Losing my job has unsettled me far more than I expected. I don’t feel safe or secure. I know I have continuing employment, thanks to my friend, but it’s a stop-gap. I worry about money, about  when/if I will have a full-blown relapse, about the future. This has to stop.

So I have decided to try to live much more in the present. Right here, right now. I don’t know about you, but my mind starts whirring over as soon as my alarm goes off in the morning. Standing in the shower, I go over my fears, what I should have said to someone but didn’t, my worries, everything. By the time I make my first coffee, I’m bogged down with stress. Surely not the best way to start the day.

By trying to yank my mind back to this present moment as much as I can, I am hoping to stay focused, serene and stress-free.  To start with, it is difficult. Our minds like to go wandering about, poking into all the dark places. But then we miss the beauty of the present. We live life only by reviewing the past, which can get pretty tedious.

At the shops yesterday, I tried it out. It’s fabulous! I noticed things I don’t normally see. I appreciated beauty more, rather than constantly thinking, analysing and brooding. I have applied it to my work, too, with great results. I have four weeks left in my old job and I want to give my absolute best, as a matter of principle.

In some ways, MS helps with living day to day. I know, not always in a good way. We worry about every new symptom, every little tingling or numbness or something not working the way it should. But in another way, MS can help us appreciate the good things in life. A day with fewer symptoms than before, or a good catch up with a friend or simply feeling that life isn’t that bad after all. MS really does put life into perspective.

Life is short. Life could be worse.


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7 thoughts on “Right Here, Right Now

  1. stevedomino says:

    excellent way to be – i’m trying to be more that way, since my last relapse i’ve been doing a course of CBT which has really helped – here are the posts on my blog which cover my experiences:

  2. stumbling in flats says:

    Thanks Steve!
    I’ve heard a lot of great stuff about CBT, so might give it a whirl. I guess when you get diagnosed with MS, your whole life changes and it’s good to work out how to go forward with it.

  3. Lucy says:

    Hi there, you have a lot on your plate so it’s not surprising you’re feeling stressed. My husband practises Mindfulness which sounds very much like what you are trying to do..ie ‘living in the moment’ and appreciating the small things, but also recognising your emotions. I’ve also done a short course on it. My husband (and the course I did) uses this book.
    It helps with meditation (there’s a CD). I hope you find something to help. Lucy x

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Hi Lucy!

      Thank you so much for that – it’s on my Amazon Christmas wish list now. I really like the idea of mindfulness. I stress far too much, and it ain’t good for my health!

  4. Tony Cardis says:

    As I have PPMS I find it ironic that I should say to somebody that I’m fortunate, that my MS is here and doesn’t go away. But I can understand the dread of wondering when it’s going to come back.
    But what I will say is I won’t let it get me down I live with it not for it, I spend ages planning for surprise trips if that makes sense, if I can’t go out because of it no problem there is always another day
    Hope I don’t sound preachy as we are all different but I do feel that a persons attitude plays such an important part in dealing with this

  5. stumbling in flats says:

    Hi Tony!

    You don’t sound preachy at all. I think I just haven’t really found the space to get my head round how I feel about the MS and the impact it’s having on my life. It all takes time I guess!

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