I am stressed. And if you follow this blog, you probably already know that. There’s far too much going on, and my brain is in risk of imploding.
Losing my job has unsettled me far more than I expected. I don’t feel safe or secure. I know I have continuing employment, thanks to my friend, but it’s a stop-gap. I worry about money, about when/if I will have a full-blown relapse, about the future. This has to stop.
So I have decided to try to live much more in the present. Right here, right now. I don’t know about you, but my mind starts whirring over as soon as my alarm goes off in the morning. Standing in the shower, I go over my fears, what I should have said to someone but didn’t, my worries, everything. By the time I make my first coffee, I’m bogged down with stress. Surely not the best way to start the day.
By trying to yank my mind back to this present moment as much as I can, I am hoping to stay focused, serene and stress-free. To start with, it is difficult. Our minds like to go wandering about, poking into all the dark places. But then we miss the beauty of the present. We live life only by reviewing the past, which can get pretty tedious.
At the shops yesterday, I tried it out. It’s fabulous! I noticed things I don’t normally see. I appreciated beauty more, rather than constantly thinking, analysing and brooding. I have applied it to my work, too, with great results. I have four weeks left in my old job and I want to give my absolute best, as a matter of principle.
In some ways, MS helps with living day to day. I know, not always in a good way. We worry about every new symptom, every little tingling or numbness or something not working the way it should. But in another way, MS can help us appreciate the good things in life. A day with fewer symptoms than before, or a good catch up with a friend or simply feeling that life isn’t that bad after all. MS really does put life into perspective.
Life is short. Life could be worse.