Stumbling Vs Kettlebell – The Smackdown

Cardiff-20130627-00217After weeks months of staring each other down, I finally decided to pick up my kettlebell, even though it was a very handy doorstop.

On my fridge I have a printout of a nubile, semi-clad, skinny female (not jealous) doing all manner of strange exercises with one of the blasted things and the write up was suitably encouraging – ‘kettlebell training is fun and varied, never boring, safe for any age, shape or size.’ Not only that, it also promised me ‘explosive power.’

Last night, with nothing left to lose except my dignity and a good few pounds, I put down my Walnut Whips and tentatively picked it up. Then swiftly put it back down again and attempted to unscrew two of the weights to make it a tiny bit more manageable. Exhausted from the effort, I rested long enough to watch the last episode of Mad Men and finish the last Whip before trying again.

I hid myself in the kitchen as The Teenager is fond of rushing downstairs yelling out sports results at regular intervals throughout the evening and the humiliation would be too much. Ok, squat and lift. Creakily I lowered myself downwards holding the much-lighter kettlebell. And stopped. Just had to stand up straight again. My calf muscles, one of which was fully-cramped with MS pain, protested loudly. I down-scaled the reps from 10 to 5, then 3.

Next exercise, I just had to swing the thing round my body, switching hands halfway through. Easy. I happily did this for a while, feeling smugly in the rhythm until disaster struck. My dodgy MS hand decided to simply let go. The kettlebell flew towards the cat food bowl, scattering crunchy biscuits across the floor and landed with an almighty thud. Luckily the cat wasn’t eating at the time or we’d be holding a memorial service today.

The Teenager rushed downstairs. I stumbled out to stop him in his tracks.

‘Muuuuuuum! What’s wrong with your face? Why are you all sweaty and red?’

‘Oh, you know. Just washing up. So what’s the latest score?’

I tried one last exercise. This ball of fear was not going to get the better of me. I raised it above my head, slightly to the left just in case my hand decided to play another joke and I knocked myself unconscious. Not bad. I could feel my muscles stretching. Three reps and I was done.

Amount of exercise? Two and a half minutes. Time spent clearing up the mess and cooling down? Half an hour. Not bad for a first attempt. We will meet again tomorrow, same time, same place.

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9 thoughts on “Stumbling Vs Kettlebell – The Smackdown

  1. You go, girl! Pretty soon you’ll be able to devour Whips and Malteasers with EXPLOSIVE POWER! It’ll be so much more efficient to be able to gobble them down more quickly; think of the increase in quantity in the same time span. Awesome!

    Okay, really, I’m very impressed that you gave it a try! Are you sore today? Keep it up (but please do be careful!).

    Ms. C-Px

    • stumbling in flats says:

      I love that – eating with explosive power!! I read somewhere that athletes need pasta, so have had a huge bowl of pasta shells, mozarella and beef (for the protein). Getting in to the whole health kick thing!

      Am rather tender in my arms today, so might just look at the kettlebell instead and do a mental workout. Still counts?!

  2. tony cardis says:

    I prefer just to use a kettle
    Then I like to give Pizza Hut a bell
    Then I sit down and work up a sweat watching sky sports
    I have an hour glass figure, admittedly the sand is all at the bottom but I’m happy with it

    • stumbling in flats says:

      I’m going to pinch that hourglass saying, it’s perfect!
      You and my son would get on like a house on fire – that’s his ideal evening, pizza and Sky Sports!

  3. my luck it would fall on my feet :p or my head :p

    good for you for not using at as a doorstop tho! 😀

  4. Amanda says:

    As always, so enjoyable! I love how honest you are! Your blog is bookmarked on my computer.

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