Definitely Not Britain’s Next Top Model

next top modelI hate having my photograph taken. I’m always the one at social gatherings who pulls funny faces or hides behind the nearest pillar (see my classic  fish-face, left<-).

So it was a strange experience to be photographed on the steps of the Welsh Assembly building on a sunny Bank Holiday Saturday, being gawped at by hordes of passers-by.

The MS Society is writing up my experiences in work for their magazine and unfortunately they want my mug-shot next to the article. There was no escaping it. The best thing about the day was the photographer, Eiona, a Twitter friend I hadn’t yet met in the real world. The worst thing was my round face. The Teenager doesn’t call me The Chubster for nothing. Personally, I blame the steroids.

Anyway, we had lunch and a natter first plus a cheeky glass of wine to steady the nerves. I badgered  Eiona to pull out every Photoshop trick in the book – make me drop two three stone, sculpt some cheekbones, add eyeliner (dodgy hands won’t let me anywhere near the stuff) and generally make me into a passable Kate Moss lookalike.

There was no putting it off any longer. Luckily I only had to stand on the steps, looking into the distance. Thinking serious thoughts (how can I get rid of the slugs in my garden?) I struck a pose. People stared. They were no doubt thinking, ‘who on earth is that chubby-faced woman being photographed – didn’t she play a corpse in Casualty?’

It actually went very well. I had chosen my Sara Lund jumper to wear, hoping to channel some Nordic gloominess and before long. it was a wrap and I was back home, making the most of the peace and quiet as The Teenager was away. After dinner, I noticed my exercise kettlebell staring at me accusingly. It does make a lovely door stop, but maybe I should pick the thing up now and again…

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8 thoughts on “Definitely Not Britain’s Next Top Model

  1. Caroline says:

    “Strike a pose, there’s nothing to it…. Vogue, Vogue, Vogue”!! Nice pose there, glad you went for the mature approach! Wish I’d known you where there, we were in the area, could have popped along for moral support. Good luck with your article, keep the fighting spirit going, as you say you’re not an MS victim but someone special (in a good way!!), who just so happens to have to give MS a run for its money!!

    • stumbling in flats says:

      Aw, thank you!! I quite like my fish-face, lol. I’m just glad the Bay was pretty quiet for a Bank Holiday. I think there’s a photo of me looking Nordically windswept!
      Looking forward to going to Hay-On-Wye with you on Tuesday – will need moral support as I stumble around with my walking stick!

  2. LOVE the fish face! Being photographed in public places is mortifying. For work once I had to stand in front of a video camera (horrors) and say a line at the Spanish Steps in Rome. Felt like a tremendous ASS.

    • stumbling in flats says:

      It’s definitely my best look, lol! I am SO not the best model for anything. Much prefer the shot taken unawares. Mind you, usually have a glass of wine in my hand or I’m yelling. If I had to actually say something, blimey, I’d be stuttering all over the place!!

    • stumbling in flats says:

      thank you! It’s not been written yet, so just waiting to hear back. Any MS publicity is good publicity!

  3. p.s. great that your story is being featured in the magazine! I got so caught up in talking about ME that I neglected to say that.

  4. Tricia says:

    Great to read, so glad you keep us posted. After reading you I always have a smile. Thank You.

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