The last blog post brought up some interesting comments. I wrote about being too hard on myself for not being able to do everything the same way as pre-MS and it seems I’m not alone in this.
I’ve been carrying on as if everything is the same as before, leading only to anger and frustration when things don’t go according to plan.
Take the other night. The Teenager was away, I was all dressed up in my arty clothes and jewellery ready to hang out in an arty wine bar with a friend. So far so good. I was feeling on top of the world. I was doing what everyone else takes for granted.
Two small glasses of wine and a couple of slices of caramelised onion and rocket pizza later, I was ready to swap my flats for slippers and settle down for a night in front of the telly. I went home incredulous at the early hour and sought solace in a family-sized Bubbly chocolate bar, but it did little to assuage my feelings of sadness and anger at being such a lightweight.
Time for a re-think. MS smashes into our lives, obliterating everything in its path. We can go under or resurface, tweaking our lives in new ways.
I may not be able to go out as much, but when I do, I make the effort to hang out with true friends, the ones who’ve stuck by me through it all. I might not be able to (or want to) schlep round the supermarket, but oh, the joys of Waitrose online shopping certainly make up for it.
Housework? Clever lighting and candles hide the dust. Stuck on the sofa, pinned down by MS fatigue? Scrolling through Twitter on my phone, connecting with similar MSers across the world makes me feel far less alone. The Teenager has more of my undivided attention as life has slowed down.
MS makes you reevaluate your life. What is truly important? What will make me happier and more fulfilled? How can I improve my life despite MS?
We are all doing just fine. Most of us are still juggling everyday life as best we can as well as living with a serious neurological illness. We should be proud of ourselves. We got knocked down, but we get back up again. And again.
A big high-five to everyone.