Yep, it’s that time of the year again when I take a notepad and scribble down some resolutions.
Looking back at the ones I’ve made over the years, I might as well just chuck my list in the bin; I still haven’t mastered the art of cooking rice and I haven’t learned how to play the guitar. I’m still single, still fat and still trying to work out what I want to do when I grow up.
Despite all this, I’m going to make some resolutions anyway just for the sheer novelty factor:
- Experiment with wearing black clothes (slimming) and quirky jewellery (interesting).
- Borrow my friend’s dog – exercise (gah) but a chance of bumping into a nice single man (note to self, must not be carrying a bag of dog poo).
- Host dinner parties – with only three kitchen chairs. Perhaps supper parties? Or just skip the food and make some killer cocktails instead? Good chance to showcase black tops and big bead-y jewellery?
- Come up with a book club choice my book club actually enjoys.
- Be brave enough to take my laptop to the local arts cafe to work on My Novel, even though it’s not a Mac. Could be awkward. Maybe wear a big hat and dark glasses.
- Give up any hope of becoming a poet.
- Buy one of those big eye-shadow palettes and learn how to use it.
Maybe I should concentrate on what I’m grateful for, rather than my shortcomings. I may always be fat. And single. And I may never come up with a book-club-pleasing title. I might never get in to black clothes (I have a cat, she has fur).
So what do I have? A huge amount:
- A brilliant, funny, intrepid Teenager.
- A weird, funny cat.
- A healthy appetite for life and all it has to offer.
- A fantastic support network – thank you a million times.
As we put the horrendous year that has been 2016 behind us, I’m looking forward, not back.